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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi

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To: Rambi who wrote (16766)	1/21/1999 9:56:00 AM
From: Gauguin	Read Replies (1) of 71178

>>>> Then I babble. I am a silencefiller. I HATE that. I can't stop myself either. I think-Shut up! Shut up! ANd my mouth keeps going.<<<< Boy, me too. That's why I can't handle social situations. I'll say anything to fill a silence, even if I have no interest in talking to the person. So I haven't thot about what I'm saying, and some bizarre stuff comes out. I wasn't that way twenty years ago. I felt I had No obligation to fill silence in social situations, and just let it ride.I worked hard to get that silent-ability stamina. As my nerves have ripped apart I've lost it. Or some stage happened in between. Maybe just a desire to be somewhere else. But it doesn't matter now, I do it even if I want to be there. Damnit. At least with alcohol I don't care so much about what I say, I say things closer to what I mean 50% of the time, and am a little more inventive and capable. What a mess.

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