Skipper--
I know you asked Alexa, but...
You'll probably never know. It is, however, entirely possible that she means exactly what she says. A few years ago I was involved for, oh, about nine months or a year with a man I'd known--as a friend--for about eight years. He'd been married, he and his wife separated. We'd always found each other interesting intellectually; we're in a sense colleagues, related fields anyway (he's an intellectual historian), and I think there'd always been a sexual attraction as well.
It didn't go dreadfully, in fact it was fun for awhile, but it didn't go all that well, either, and eventually died out. May have been because he was just coming off the end of his marriage--like you, he'd married quite young--or it maybe it just didn't work. Sort of faded away in the end. He remarried a year, year and a half later (and now is divorcing again, but that's another story). I don't see him often, but we're still friends--the relationship just works better that way.
We're able to continue as friends because neither of us was madly in love with the other, and so the end of the affair wasn't particularly upsetting to either. BUT--and I think this is what your friend may worry about--if one of you really falls for the other and then the thing ends and that person feels mortally hurt, the friendship may never be the same again.
And good friendships are to be valued.
Janice |
