Guy gets a Fedex delivery from New York. The package says, "live animal". Inside he finds a birthday card, a parrot, a cage, and some parrot food.
He looks at the parrot and says, "Polly want a cracker??"
The parrot says [New York accent] " You %^#$#$^ %%&!$^! #&%$%#^. Of course I want a #&$%$ cracker. I've been in that box for 2 &$^#&^# days, you #&@$^& piece of #&!&$@!"
The man is mortified. He gives the parrot some food. Then his phone rings, and he takes the call. It's his mother. In the middle of the conversation, the parrot starts yelling;
"Hey! You @&$& @^?&*#% @*@@&*! Give me some more food! Hey! (%#@*!&@ ^*@(^&@(^!!!"
The man doesn't know what to do. He opens the refrigerator, then the freezer, puts the parrot in the freezer, and closes the door.
He can hear the muffled voice of the parrot, "You @&$# #&!@^*$%! Let me out of this $%&!*#%^*& freezer!"
Suddenly, all is quiet. The man hangs up the phone, and rushes to the refrigerator. He thinks the bird might be frozen to death.
He opens the freezer door, and the parrot says;
"Sir, it has occurred to me that my language and demeanor were not only inappropriate, but offensive and rude. I wish to apologize sincerely, and I humbly beg your forgiveness.
I shall never again speak to you in such a disrespectful way.
By the way, what did this chicken do?"
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