MJ and I were coming home from the bone doctor and stopped at a natural food and veggie store. She goes in, I sit in the car, I was really nervous, kind of in shock, prospects you know, feeling old, really really old, and so I got out to limp around the car and get some air and feel better maybe.
Well, that morning I couldn't find any kleen pants so I had to put on this older pair and they were too small but I was late, so I had just unbuttoned, and unzipped, and untied the strings when I got back in the car, and let my bier belly fall out under my big sweater. No don't nobody tell me they've never done this. Lying is bad.
So I get out in the upscale parking lot and hop/limp to this huge shipping container, fold my arms and lean against it, and smile broadly at two pretty women who walk by, and I see them smiling hard back and so I get shy and put my head down and see my unbuttoned untied unzipped pants are down six or so inches below my sweater in front. Folded wide open. Like circus awnings.
At least I had shorts on. I usually don't. But then, at least, I would have felt the cold air and maybe avoided the whole situation.
I almost moved the car, because I figured the rentacop would come out and arrest me, after those ladies recount.
Damnit.
Life is stressful. |
