Getting married is very much like
going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when
you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.
* * * * * * *
At the cocktail party, one woman
said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the
wrong finger?"
The other replied, "Yes, I am, I
married the wrong man."
* * * * * * *
After a quarrel, a husband said
to his wife, "You know, I was a
fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was
in love and didn't notice."
* * * * * * *
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the
classifieds: "Husband wanted."
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
* * * * * * *
The bride, upon her engagement,
went to her mother and said, "I've
found a man just like father!" Her
mother replied, "So what do you want
from me, sympathy?"
* * * * * * *
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied,
"I don't know son, I'm still paying."
* * * * * * *
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that
in some parts of Africa a man doesn't
know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
* * * * * * *
Then there was a man who said, "I
never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; and then it was too
late."
* * * * * * *
The trouble with being the best man at
a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
* * * * * * *
Marriage is the triumph of imagination
over intelligence. Second marriage is the
triumph of hope over experience.
* * * * * * *
If you want your spouse to listen and pay
strict attention to every word you say, talk
in your sleep.
* * * * * * *
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life thinking they had no
faults at all.
* * * * * * *
You know the honeymoon is pretty much
over when you start to go out with the boys
on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
* * * * * * *
Personally, I think one of the greatest things
about marriage is that as both husband and
father, I can say anything I want to around the
house. Of course, no one pays the least bit
of attention.
* * * * * * *
How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get laundry done
for free.
* * * * * * *
The most effective way to remember your
wife's birthday is to forget it once.
* * * * * * *
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse
who is packing your parachute.
* * * * * * *
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
* * * * * * *
Women will never be equal to men until they
can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Karin |
