Pinky's Tailing Box: Weekend Edition Special Report...
Domestic Violence on the increase...
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Congratulations Gentlemen--you have proven yourselves worthy of the traditions of our fine law enforcement family. Montgomery County welcomes you as one of its men in blue. Here are your badges.
R-I-N-G-G-G-G
Excuse me...Hello, Rockville Police Department...we'll send patrolmen over right away.
C-L-I-C-K
Now boys, most of our force is at this minute working on a moonshine sting...
Curly: Yeh, that moonshine sure does sting, nyuk, nyuk.
Moe: Quiet dimwit.
S-L-A-P
Curly: Owwww!
Er...we have a domestic violence incident--some Cajuns south of town. I want you boys to cruise over to this address and handle it.
Moe: You can depend on us Sir.
Curly: Can we stop on the way for coffee and donuts?
Larry: Splendid idea.
Moe: I have another splendid idea.
Culry/Lary: What's that Moe?
Moe: Lean your heads close together so I can whisper into both your ears.
Curly/Larry: Okay Moe.
B-O-P
Curly/Larry: Oooohh! Oooohh!
Moe: Now get moving you donutheads.
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Larry: Must be the place...
Moe: I'll handle this.
D-I-N-G--D-O-N-G
JC: Can I help y'all?
Moe: My apologies for interrupting your suppertime, but we received a domestic violence report and are here to check it out.
JC: I can assure you gentlemen that ma wife has nevah laid a hand on me.
MM: Honey, why are these officers here?
JC: Some crank called in a domestic violence on us dear.
MM: That's silly, I would never hurt my little Jimmy.
Moe: Ma'am, this is merely routine you understand. May we have a quick look around?
JC: Y'all go ahead and do yo' job.
Larry: Look at the living room Moe...
Moe: The couch is ripped to shreds as if someone cut and slashed it with a knife. How did this happen ma'am?
MM: I'm sorry to say my husband did it.
Moe: And where is the knife or other sharp instrument he used to viciously assault your couch?
MM: Oh, Jimmy did this with his teeth.
Moe: With his teeth? How so?
MM: He's an attack dog for the president and sometimes he takes his work home from the office.
Curly: Hmm...those scratches Moe--there's more on the wall.
Moe: Who are you calling a moron? See this nightstick? It's pretty handy.
Curly: For what?
Moe: For this...
Curly: N-n-n-n-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a....
Moe: Our apologies folks--we seem to have gotten a bum steer.
Larry: Some bum steered us here with a tale all right.
Curly: Yeah, our Boss, nyuk, nyuk.
Moe: See my two split fingernails, knucklehead?
Curly: Yeah--I sees 'em.
Moe: There's something about them I don't understand.
Curly: What's that Moe?
Moe: What they're doing in your eyes.
P-O-I-N-G
Curly: Ooh. Ooh.
Moe: Oh, and I told you the nightstick was handy...
B-O-P!
JC: Well, it seems y'all've come along way for nothin'. This is obviously the politics of personal destruction.
Curly: Ooh, ooh--you can says that again.
MM: Speaking of personal destruction, why don't you patrolmen stay for supper. My husband makes some excellent Cajun hot chili.
Lary: "Hot chili" is an oxymoron.
Curly: Who are you calling an ox?
Moe: Who are you calling a moron?
S-L-A-P! S-L-A-P!
Lary: Owwwww! Owwwww!
JC: Excuse me ya'll fo' a minute. There's some dirt I fo'got to send on ma computer this mo'nin'.
Curly: Isn't it amazin' what technology can do? I still vacuums though.
Moe: The only vacuum I ever see you with is between your ears. Come on...
S-W-I-P-E!
Curly: Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. |
