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A very complex subject. Some tribes (Owhyans) are warm and loving and protective of every member -- have loose primary families and no nuclear families. Others (e.g. Yanomamo) are fearfully hostile. Within a single tribe or extended family some primary families (mine, for instance) treat every body well, sacrifice for each other, even die for each other -- even though they can't make themselves like all the others very much. Its duty, not affection. It is expectations established when very young (we don't do that ... or we do that). When I married, my father told me we didn't divorce or desert. I looked back, and irreligious as we were, it was true. He also told me we didn't quit or run, and seemed to prefer hopeless but just causes. This kept us poor but thoughtful and proud of being who we were -- poor, down on our luck, and desperate. I think the family is the most powerful force for good, and also a threat when it is weak.I could never have grown up without my family's help. A strong family if it tries can pull a weakened member like me or my father back in shape, while helping the very strong to success. A weak family is always tearing at itself, weakening itself, and discarding members who won't or can't keep up or contribute. Strong families survive, and weak ones dissolve and disappear. |
