"A Flag As A Tax Symbol?"
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was
jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands
flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk
about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay
them."
"Oh, that's the same with us," nodded the American, "Only we see
stars, too!"
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"Dear IRS:
I would like to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from
your mailing list..."
Don't you wish you *could* do that?
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"How To Annoy The IRS (Without Getting In Trouble!)"
Well, it's tax time again, boys and girls. So cough it up if you
haven't already! But no one says you have to go gentle into that dark
night. Here are some hints on how to annoy the IRS if you owe them
money...
1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put
them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the
mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the
right side.
2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the
right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they
have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork
and re-staple it (on the left side).
3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let
it dry before you put in you forms, so that the automated
opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use a two
or three party check. On top of paying with a third party check,
pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives
cash, no matter how small an amount, s/he has to take it to a
special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.
5. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received
has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.
6. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional.
Like on the back of a Kroger sack.
7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a
single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted
differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to
the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the
workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.
8. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly
envelope to your half destroyed form.
9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners
or the like have to be removed and put away.
10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be
verified and then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with
the IRS. These methods are *only* recommended when you owe money.
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