Subject: Humor: Darwin
LATEST DARWIN AWARDS...
A 27 year old woman from France lost control over her car on a
Highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree seriously injuring
her co-driver and killing herself. Accidents like this occur quite
often and usually don't qualify for a Darwin Award nomination.
This accident is special because the drivers attention for the road
was distracted by her Tamagotchi which hang on the car keys and
beeped for food. Wanting to save the Tamagotchis life the French
woman ignored the road and killed herself.
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Apparently, in Brazil, 3 people were flying in a plane at low
altitude, when another plane approached. For a lark, they
decided to "moon" the other plane. Somehow, in the execution
of this maneuver, they lost control of the plane and crashed.
They were all found dead with their pants around their ankles.
>------
In an Inuit village, a young man was searching for a way of getting
drunk for free because he had no money to buy alcohol. So he mixed
gasoline with milk to get his buzz. After he drank it he became ill
and vomited on the fireplace in his house which in turn ignited his
vomit and burned his house down killing him and his sister.
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A recent suicide was found as follows: 34 yr. old white male found in
the basement of his home died of suffocation. He was approximately
6'2" and 225 lb. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and
white saddle shoes and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying
to create a school girls uniform look. He was also wearing a
military gas mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber
hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected
to a hollow wooden piece of a bed post approximately 12 inches long
and 3 inches in diameter. This bedpost was inserted into his rear end
for reasons unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. It was
difficult to explain the circumstances of his death to his family
members.
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A police officer in Ohio responded to a call that was made to 911.
She had no details before arriving except that someone was reporting
that his father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the
man face down on the couch, naked. When she rolled him over to check
for a pulse and to start CPR if necessary she noticed burn marks
around his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man
(who was and still is dead) the police made a closer inspection of
the couch and noticed that the man had made a hole between the
cushions. After flipping the couch over they discovered what caused
his death. Apparently the man would put his penis between the
cushions, down into the hole and between 2 ELECTRIC SANDERS (with out
the sand paper obviously). According to the story, after he had his
orgasm the, ahem, discharge shorted out the sander electrocuting him
to death.
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Man eats too much rice in Oklahoma and his stomach explodes. Police
say he may have been eating pop-rocks (along with the rice), and his
fate became similar to the Life Cereal poster boy, Mikey, who died
from eating the candy in the early 80's. Perhaps it was the
combination of rice and pop-rocks which made the man's stomach
explode. The man was also found with rice up his corn hole. |
