Here's some Minnesota humor - It's kind of long:
You Might Be A Minnesotan If:
* Nothing gets you madder than seeing a Green Bay sticker on a MN car.
* You measure distance in minutes.
* Weather is 80% of your conversation.
* Down south to you means Iowa.
* You call highways "freeways".
* Snow tires came standard on your car.
* You have no concept of public transportation.
* 75% of your graduating high school class went to the U of M.
* You know more than 1 person that has hit a deer.
* People from other states love to hear you say words with "o"s in them.
* You know what and where "Dinkytown" is.
* "Perkins" was a popular hangout option in high school.
* You have no problem saying or spelling "Minneapolis".
* You can list all the "Dales".
* You hate "Fargo" but realize that a lot of your family has that accent.
* You get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota.
* Your school classes have been canceled because of snow or cold.
* You know what Mille Lacs is and how to spell it.
* You assume when you say "The Cities" people know where your referring to.
* You know what the numbers 694, 494, 94, 394 mean.
* You have tried boiled fish in lye at Christmas.
* You know the 2 sports-related reasons why we hate Dallas.
* You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly.
* You can pinpoint exactly where each scene in "Untamed Heart" was filmed.
* You can spot the 3 second cameo appearance by "The Artist formerly
known as Prince" in "Fargo".
* You're a loyal Target shopper.
* You've licked frozen metal.
* The only reason you go to Wisconsin is to get fireworks or to fish.
* You own an ice house, a snowmobile, and a 4 wheel drive vehicle.
* You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees outside in March, but bundle
up and complain in August when it goes below 60.
* You know people that have more fishing poles than teeth.
* You remember WLOL.
* It feels like the Mississippi is everywhere you go.
* When you talk about "opener" you are not talking about cans.
* You have gone Trick-or-Treating in 3 feet of snow.
* You know that when it comes to AM, there is only WCCO, besides,
what else do you need?
* You know what the word SPAM stands for.
* You carry jumper cables in your car.
* You drink "POP", not "SODA"
* There was a time when you were SO proud that Soul Asylum is from Minnesota
* Everyone you know has a cabin.
* You get sick of people asking you where Paisley Park is.
* You know that Lake Wobegon isn't real and you know who made it up,
where they live, and exactly what to do about it.
* In a conversation you heard someone say "yah sure, you betcha" and
you didn't laugh.
* you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time
* you consider snow banks to be just another hazzard on the golf course
* you beam with pride when some King or Hollywood superstar comes
to the Mayo Clinic to save their lives
* you have a nickname for your chainsaw and you pat it on the
fuel tank at the end of a hard day's work
* you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk
* you believe that REAL vehicles have skis in front and a loud motor under
your seat
* you have ever apologized to a telemarketer
* someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't even work there
* you like to come in out of the sun when the temperature gets above 72
* you don't understand why everyone thinks Garrison Keillor is so funny
* all your kids in school are above average
* all your women are strong
* you think a basketball team consists of twelve white boys
* you are proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year
because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation
(edit: I thought it was Embarass, Mn )
* your state pays a bounty for killing the state mascot
* you consider a six inch snowfall a blessing for the cities because it
provides instant urban renewal
* you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches
of ice and sitting there all day hoping the food will swim by
* you keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it ain't worth
taking them off for only two months
* you belive that rushing out on the lakes with your pick-up in November
is nature's way of upgrading the state's gene pool
* you have ever had an entire phone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number
* you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, and Shakopee
* you think that ketchup is a little too spicy
* you never had to rewind any part of "Fargo" because you missed some of
the dialogue
* you always believed that vacation meant "going up north"
* you know where the "iron range" is
* you laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard
shutting down the entire east coast
* you think that "UFF DA" is a standard English phrase
* your favorite sport when it's cold outside is played where it's cold inside
* you can recite, from memory, more than a half-dozen "Ole and Lena" jokes
* you know people named Ole and Lena
* you remember the thrill of going to the top of the Foshay Tower
Hope you enjoyed this Minnesota interlude. jimS |
