If Women Ran Things....
A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply
because he is breathing.
Medical research money would be spent on developing new birth
control methods for MEN.
Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
Baby-sitting, doing dishes and making beds would be considered
"Macho".
The hem of mens pants would go up or down depending on the economy.
Men would be forced to purchase over priced clothes every season.
Minnie Mouse would get equal billing with Mickey.
Fewer women would be dieting because the ideal weight standard would
increase by 30 pounds.
Overweight men would be encouraged to wear girdles.
PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
Men would come with papers showing their true identity, marital and
employment status, if they live with their mother, and whether they
have had their shots.
Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
Ms. Magizine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily
clad male models.
Men who designed women's shoes would be forced to wear them.
Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours
of bedtime.
Men would be as attentive AFTER marriage as they were before.
Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard
for none of the credit.
Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks".
Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women make.
Chippendale dancers would host Tupperware parties.
Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there
would be no pictures.
Men would learn phrases like: I'm sorry, I love you, You're
beautiful, Of course you don't look fat in that outfit, Go to sleep-
I'll take care of the baby, etc.
Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their
accomplishments.
Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking.
Men would pay as much attention to their women as their cars.
All toilet seats would be nailed down.
Men would work on their relationships with us as much as they work on
their careers.
TV news segments on sports would never run longer than one minute.
All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator.
Men would have their wedding rings permanenetly attached so they can't
pretend to be single.
During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date
19 year old boys.
Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention
constantly.
After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to
wait on their wives hand and foot.
For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old
for six weeks.
A female employee would be noticed for her work performance, not her
bra size.
Single bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding
rings in their pockets.
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