Mr. Scotty & ALL:
Mr. Scotty,
Thank you so much for your recent insights. I agree completely with your analysis and look forward to your future comments on my "Druidisms" ( Why do I suddenly feel like throwing on my sackcloth garment and re-affirming my vows of silence and chastity?). I thought I might take advantage of this slack period to try and add, probably unwisely, a little levity to the current state of affairs. Please don't blame me for what is to follow, as it was Mr. Scotty's name that triggered this little endeavor. So, all blame (or credit) to him! Allow me to preface by saying I am NOT a trekkie, not even sure what one is. But, I did grow up watching the original Star Trek episodes, and it suddenly struck me that on our thread we currently have a cast of characters, and situation that parallels an episode on the original Star Trek series. So, without further ado......
CYBERTREK: THE VOYAGES OF THE STOCKSHIP WINNERPRISE.
STARRING:
Swedelo as Captian James T. Kirk (If I can't be Captian I just won't play)
Premier as First Officer Spock
Analyst Scotty as (who else) Engineering Officer Scott
Nittany Lion as Navigations officer Zulu
Provocateur as Navigations and engineering Officer Chekoff
MagicRN as communications Officer Ahura
The Market Makers as The Klingons
And, in his first starring role..
Johnathan Feingold as "Bones" the Doctor
....As the scene opens The Stockship Winnerprise is one and a half months into its three year journey into cyberspace. It's three year mission? To boldly go where no stockship has dared go before...Planet E-tail3.....on the bridge.....
(Kirk): (Presses fake button on Captians chair arm and speaks aimlessly) Mr. Scott, Status report please.
(Mr. Scott): (shot of Mr. Scott with one white hot glowing crystal and one dead black crystal behind him in the main power supply) Cap'n were runn'n fine on the gamin crystal, but I'm not sure when we'll have the e-tail crystal integrated in a stable fashion for maximum power.
(Kirk): Scotty, how long til we can integrate that e-tail crystal?
(Mr. Scott): I dun't know Cap'n. We could try now but she may blow. I think in a couple of months we should have the crystals stable and compatible but thats only a guess.
(Kirk): Thank you Mr. Scott, Egineering out. Mr. Zulu calculations please on time of arrival E-tail3 at present course and speed.
(Zulu): My calculations at present gaming speed we should reach E-tail3 in one year captian. However, there appears to be a competition anomoly in the Cybercredit sector that at this point I can't seem to adequately account for.
(Chekoff): Captian, a Klingon vessel has just appeared on our bow.
(Kirk): Status Mr. Chekoff
(Chekoff): Weapons systems are neutral sir, shields are full up. They appear to be in a completely defensive mode.
(Ahura): Captian, we are being haled by the Klingon vessel.
(Kirk): Open frequency and put on screen.
(Klingon Captian): AHhhahaha; so, Captian Kirk we meet again.
(Kirk): Lucky me.
(Klingon Captian): As you will notice we are completely in a defensive mode, or are we? AHhahaha....now even as we speak, through our stealth viro-technology, we have introduced a virus through your ship that, for those infected, will raise doubt in the ability of you and your ship to accomplish its' mission of reaching E-tail3, even as you enjoy success at gaming speed. As, this virus spreads mutiny is sure to occur. AHhhahahaha...happy traveling Captian! Klingons out.
(Kirk): Chekoff Klingon vessel status?
(Chekoff): They appear to have locked in to a tracking pattern sir. They're just sitting there on our bow.
(Kirk): Captian to sick bay, over.
(Bones): Bones here Jim. Damnit Jim, what the hell is going on around here! I just had three crew members come in complaining of severe doubt.
(Kirk): It appears the Klingons are attempting to infect us with a virus that stimulates doubt about our mission Bones. Have you been able to isolate the virus yet?
(Bones): Damnit Jim I'm a Doctor not a miracle worker. For Gods' sake man give me some time. Bones out.
(Kirk): (under his breath) Damn bones take a valium. (full voice) Mr. Spock analysis please.
(Spock): It appears Captian, that the Klingon virus is having a small effect on our vessel to operate at maximum output. However, our gaming power crystal is operating smoothly and probabilities of reaching E-tail3 in a timely fashion on the gaming crystal output alone still fall into the 68.87954683452th percentile.
(Kirk): Thats all good and fine Mr. Spock, But what if we were to get the E-tail power crystal integrated and stabilized sooner rather than later?
(Spock): Captian, My computations show that the E-tail crystal would add 473.665198732 percent to our current velocity bringing us to E-tail3 in slightly less than 22.7563928 percent the time period at current velocity.
(Kirk): Engineering.
(Mr. Scott): Engineering here Captian.
(Kirk): Mr. Scott, status report on integration of E-tail power crystal.
(Mr. Scott): Still at least two months out Captian.
(Kirk): Mr. Scott I need that crysal on-line in one week.
(Mr. Scott): I canot duit Cap'n. If I try to Integrate that crystal before proper testing and stabilization the whole ship could blow!
(Kirk): Just do it Scotty (flash to Kirks feet showing Nikes for advertising purposes). Mr. Spock, further analysis?
(Spock): Mr. Scott is correct sir. If we try to integrate the e-tail crystal to soon the probability of total destruction is...well, quite high.
(Kirk): Advice?
(Spock): Continue on current path , and integrate e-tail crystal is tested and stabilized.
(Kirk): Yes...yes, but.....
(Bones): (storming on to bridge) DAMNIT JIM...When the hell are we gonna get to E-tail3. I and other crew members are beggining to believe we will never get there and get our just.......
(Kirk): (slapping Bones) Damnit Bones get ahold of yourself man. Don't you realize it's the Klingon virus talking and not you. now get back to sick bay and find me a cure for this virus. (fade to full view of Stockship Winnerprise in Cyberspace)
(Kirk): (background voice) Captians Log 11.234.538: One and a half months into journey to E-tail3. My gaming power source is running smoothly, but as yet have been unable to integrate the much more powerful e-tail crystal. The Klingons have infected the ship with a stealth self doubt virus that, at present, is causing a mild dissruption among the ships crew. We will continue on present course until further action is required. Kirk out!.....
OOOOooooooo..OOoooooooo...OOooooooo...OOoooooo...Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...Ahhhh...Ahh..Ahhh.......
Tune in next week as Bones confesses..."Damnit Jim, I'm not even a Doctor, the only doctoring I've ever done was on my application to Star Fleet Acadamy!
THIS HAS BEEN A SWEDELO PRESENTATION
(hammer sound...dink..dink) MARK VII
As, I stated earlier my purpose with this post is to just attempt a little levity in a slack period. If I have offended anyone I sincerely apologize. As my wife would say, I obviously have WAY too much time on my hands! As always....
Best Wishes,
Swedelo
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