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Pastimes : Jokes
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To: Vanni Resta who wrote ()2/6/1999 12:43:00 AM
From: Karin  Read Replies (1) of 2733
 
How To Handle Stress

Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
Use your MasterCard to pay your VISA bill.
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
When someone says, "Have a nice day!", tell them you have other plans.
During your next meeting, sneeze and then loudly suck the phlegm back down your throat.
Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
Make a list of things you have already done.
Dance naked in front of pets.
Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him off to pre-school as if nothing was wrong.
Thumb through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives.
Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in them. Return them the next day.
Drive to work in reverse.
Read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.
Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it gets back to you.
Bill your doctor for the time you spent in his waiting room.
Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are.
Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a candygram.
Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to preschool as if nothing was wrong.
Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your boss' wife.
Pay your electric bill in pennies.
Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of the Flintstones" during that important finance meeting.
Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg.
Refresh yourself. Put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
Tell your boss to blow it out a his mule and let him figure it out.
Polish your car with ear wax.
Braid the hairs in each nostril.
Write a short story; using alphabet soup.
Lie on your back eating celery....using your navel as a salt dipper.
Stare at people through the lines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
Make up a language and ask people for directions.
Karin
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