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Pastimes : Wayne's New Cumpinie, Hot Innernut Issue
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To: Wayne Rumball who wrote (135)2/7/1999 12:40:00 PM
From: MKTBUZZ   of 394
 
BS Newswire, Feb 7, 1999;
- WRLB & Associates today announced plans to buy the Philadelphia Mint from the United States government. Final details of the transaction were hammered out in an all night bargaining session which included President Bill Clinton representing the US, and four unnamed chorus girls. An obviously fatigued and smiling Clinton emerged from the meeting and stated that he saw no chance that there would be opposition from anyone within the government. In an effort to appease regulators, WRLB & Associates gave a case of it's new "Special Brew #2" to the Justice Department.
WRLB & Associates said it intends to print money in direct competition with the US Government. WRLB & Associates president, Weaner Rumberger, declared, "The Government has no vision and we intend to eventually take over all operations."
President Weaner Rumberger said the acquisition was made in order to move closer to his grand vision of "Money always at my fingertips." President Weaner Rumberger further stated that the move would make it easier "for the lemms, uh, I mean, customers to continue throwing money at WRLB & Associates in ever increasing amounts."
Response within the industry and government was immediate. “The Street” called the acquisition "the most earth shattering event in the history of the world, without question."
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