The Return of Pinky's Tailing Box:
Return of the Medinah...
In our last episode...
Down So Low: Droolbacca--it's an Imperial Tie Fighter.
A-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g!
Young Duped Shareholder: He'll warn his base ship about our presence!
Down So Low: Not if I can help it. Quick, jam his communications. We're closing in on him. We'll knock him out before he reaches that moon.
Young Duped Shareholder: That's not a moon--it's a satellite!
Down So Low: Impossible--nothing manmade up here is that big.
Young Duped Shareholder: On the contrary, Metroplus needs the extra capacity to handle the increased telecommunications traffic for the 2010 Olympics.
Down So Low: It's a hyper beam! We're being sucked in!
$$$
Droid: What do you want here?
JC.30: Well NP-EC, it doesn't look like anyone's home.
C-R-E-A-K
JC.30: I really don't think we should move into NP-EC, er, I mean NP-EC I really don't think we should move into there.
Droid: Halt!
JC.30: We have a message for Dayton the Duh't.
Droid: Hmm, a protocol droid. How many languages are you profficient in?
JC.30: Metroplus has programmed me in 6 million forms of communication.
$
Princess Juanita (In Disguise): I have come for the shares of MDIN you shorted. By-the-way, I also have this Wookie to collect a bounty on.
JC.30: The mighty Dayton offers you 5 million shares.
Juanita: 10 million--no less.
JC.30: His exaltedness asks why he should shortcover this many shares?
Juanita: Because drill results will soon make it several times more expensive to shortcover MDIN. Also because I'm holding this thermal grenade. CLICK.
Dayton the Duh't: Ho, ho, ho--this speculator is my kind of scum.
JC.30: His highness the Duh't offers you 7.5 million shares of MDIN if you throw in the Wookie--I suggest you take it.
Juanita: Agreed!
$
Down So Low: What? MDIN is trading at 3/8 instead of .08--I don't see it!
Juanita: Take it easy--you're suffering from hybernation sickness. Your sight will soon return--along with your portfolio.
$
Young Duped Shareholder: Great Dayton, I have come to secure the release of the Andacolla property you plowed all over. I was also wondering if you could let Down So Low go.
Dayton the Duh't: You can't try those Medinah mind tricks on me. You will die with your friend.
Young Duped Shareholder: Too late--we've already been killed by these bulletinboard stocks.
$
Down So Low: DROOY, is that you?
A-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-g-g-g-g-g-h-h-h-h!
Down So Low: And who is this?
Juanita: Down So Low--it's Young Duped. He's come to rescue you from your sorry portfolio.
Down So Low: He can't even take care of his own portfolio much less rescue somebodyelse's.
$
Dayton the Duh't: Throw them into the Bantha pit where the MM's will slowly digest their portfolios for a thousand years.
Young Duped Shareholder: Quick NP-EC, fling me my Share Saver.
SWOOSH! SLASH! CUT!
Down So Low: Gee, I wish Clinton and Congress would do that to the latest porkbarrel budget.
Young Duped Shareholder: Now that we're free and our MDIN is moving, there is something I promised to do for a friend...
$
Young Duped Shareholder: Master Yo Duh--what's wrong? You're not...
Yo Duh: Yes, even Yo Duh who is 900 years old does not have the patience to live to see NPEC break out...
$
Down So Low: We must register as many MDIN shares as possible in order to defeat the MMpire. It would also help if we could knock out the ground station on this planet providing the force shield for the dearth star in orbit.
Young Duped Shareholder: We've been spotted! SMASH. ZONK. Takes care of that. Oh no! Look! Two more patrols are getting away on their speeders. We must zoom after them and stop them before they can get word back their base.
Down So Low: With all these towering trees everywhere we'll kill ourselves if we try chasing them.
Young Duped Shareholder: Don't worry--the forest thins out quickly from here. Al Gore needed the old growth lumber to finish his porch.
Down So Low: So much for saving habitat for the endangered ewok.
$
Down So Low: Did they blow the dearth star?
Young Duped Shareholder: Yes, also blown was the chance to score for speculators who bailed early...hey--we're down 6.5 cents today...
Share Raider: Never underestimate the power of the dark side.... |
