Using your post to post the following:
>>Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let
>>her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden,
>>her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with
>>everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two
>>conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.
>>
>>"What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later,
>>and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
>>Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m.
>>
>>The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up.
>>Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and
>>**very** satisfied.
>>
>>"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was
>>supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
>>"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
>>
>>"I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"
>>"I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter, something or other...."
>>________________________________________
>>Did you hear that Captain Hook died from
>>jock itch?
>>________________________________________
>>
>>Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through
>>the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and
>>then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
>>__________________________________________
>>
>>Little Red Riding Hood was walking through
>>the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree
>>and, holding a machete to her throat, said,
>>"Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
>>
>>To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
>>and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and
>>said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me,
>>just like it says in the book!"
>>__________________________________________
>>
>>Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said
>>to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
>>
>>Mickey replied, "No I didn't. I said she
>>is ***kin' Goofy,"
>>__________________________________________
>>
>>Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
>>splinters whenever they had sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
>>visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
>>
>>Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper
>>wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away
>>enlightened.
>>
>>A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
>>town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
>>
>>Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?
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