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Pastimes : Ask God
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To: Alan Markoff who wrote (24252)2/12/1999 6:04:00 PM
From: PROLIFE1 Recommendation  Read Replies (1) of 39621
 
How about some:

DILBERTISMS

1. I can please only one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. If I'm getting smart with you, how would you know?

4. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

7. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

9. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

my personal favorite:
10. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

11. My Reality Check bounced!

12. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

13. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

14. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, 'cuz you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo!

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