Now I will tell you about my date from heaven or hell. I haven't seen him in seven and a half months. Today I went to the grocery store to get a can of coffee. It's right across the parking lot from his office, and about six blocks from mine, it's the only grocery store for miles. As I hopped out of my car, I saw him and two guys he works with starting across the parking lot. He was about 100 yards away, but I recognized him anyway. I pretended like I didn't see him, went into the grocery, got my coffee and got in line to pay. As I was checking out, the two guys he works with came into the grocery store, but he was nowhere to be seen. I had to smile, he's worse at emotions than I am. But at the same time, I was glad, because just seeing him made me feel overwhelmed with waves of anger, sadness, fear, shame, humiliation, who knows what all. He has really aged a lot, he has put on weight, he is much greyer, he was limping more, too. I also felt a lot of affection, tenderness. All too much. We both live in the same town, we work in the same occupation, we are both trial lawyers, we are bound to cross paths sooner or later, again and again. So I'll just have to get used to it. I guess I am stronger than he is? Or maybe he is just sensible, not sure what I would do, wanting to avoid a scene.
I will say that I had a very strong feeling that I would see him today. From past dealings, I know they don't go to the grocery for lunch every day, maybe a couple of days a week, and at different times, and I only needed five minutes to get the coffee, but I "knew" I would see him. The psychic connection between us is very strong, even after we dumped each other. I dumped him first, but he dumped me harder. |
