WRLB & Associates Announces Employee Split
BS Newswire, Feb 25, 1999 -- WRLB & Associates Corporation today announced that its Board of Directors approved a 3-for-2 employee split. All WRLB & Associates employees will undergo binary fission, thus doubling the workforce. Managers will receive one additional employee for every two current employees working on the record date of April 5, 1999. Fractional employees will be made into hamburger to be served at the fine WRLB & Associates cafeterias.
Shareholders must approve an amendment to the Company's Certificate of Incorporation to authorize the genetic engineering necessary to effect the employee split. A special meeting of shareholders will be held on April 3, 1999 for that purpose.
"Our decision to declare this employee split reflects the Company's continuing desire to broaden our employee base, while at the same time not requiring any additional allocation of funds to payroll. And besides, some of those fractional developers will make a tasy burger!" said President Weaner Rumberger.
WRLB & Associates has approximately twenty thousand employees. Upon completion of the split, that number will decrease to approximately fifteen thousand, with over a thousand tons of spare meat being allocated to the cafeterias. The new employees would begin work on or about April 10, 1999, and the new burgers will become available at approximately the same time.
WRLB & Associates Corporation develops, markets, and supports a wide range of stuff for business, professional and personal use, including operating systems, languages and applications, mining, space exploration, brewing, as well as books, hardware and surfing products.
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