Don't know any Calvinists, but my husband's father was Presbyterian, which I think is the same thing? He seemed like a very nice man to me, but my husband said he was very rigid and controlling. "To question was to disobey." Interesting insight.
How does being from South Africa make it worse? I can hypothesize that people who settled a country as difficult as South Africa were tougher, is that it? I grew up in the deep South, Biloxi and Hattiesburg, Mississippi, and New Orleans and Baton Rouge, Louisiana, before integration. Black and white people did not eat at the same restaurants, go to the same hospitals, attend the same schools or churches, patronize the same doctors, shop (for the most part) at the same stores, except department stores, even drink from the same water fountains. Black people sat in the back of the bus, and if there was no place for a white person to sit, even an elderly black woman was expected to get up and gave the white person her seat, even if the white person was a young man.
I got a reminder of that the other day, my father's wife was in the hospital, and he was taking a black woman, who works for his wife, there to sit with her, and also he was bringing his wife a hat, a coat, a bag with a nightgown in it, and a suitcase. When he got to the hospital, everyone got out of the car including the black woman, me, and my two sons, aged 13 and 11. My father got the hat, the coat, the bag, and the suitcase, and handed them all to the black woman and walked into the hospital, whistling. The woman and I were dumbfounded for an instant, and I rushed over to help her with the things, and handed the suitcase to one of the boys and the bag to the other, and took the coat.
Afterwards, I talked about it with the kids, and explained to them that what had happened was wrong, and they understood that. I remember how painful it was that my parents kept separate plates and silverware for the servants to use. The whole thing was horrible, and it wasn't that long ago, either, just 30 years or so. |
