My heavens, E, this is not your day for a hit-and-run posting, is it? I like the way you acknowledge that adolescent girls are simply going to measure themselves against some standard, that is not somehow all the fault of the media. If we deny this behavior, we deny a part of the growing up process. Insecurity, not only as it relates to the sexual, is a part of this process as the young go through separation and individuation.
Because men appear to be less conscious of their physical appearance as an asset or liability does not mean that they, in fact, are not. I think that they feel less reliant on physical appearance because in general (and this is a very loose generality) men are themselves more aroused by the visual in erotica. Women know this and so tend to concentrate on on being physically alluring if they are looking for a sexual relationship.
The purely visual does arouse women, but women's reactions tend to be more complex and less reliant on the physical. Keep in mind that this is very broadly speaking. (No pun intended!) So men feel less pressured to attract via purely visual means and can rely on other attractions more heavily.
I suspect that this concern with physical attractiveness tends to blind women to their overall sex appeal.
During a very difficult period of my life, I gained weight, some of which I am still battling because I have a wardrobe of beloved clothes that are still too damned small. I felt less attractive because of it and probably held my body in a way that did not convey sexual assurance; so I joined the "invisible women."
Yet those two hot encounters that I posted on "Dates" occurred while I was feeling fat! What a change in outlook! I still feel plumper than I'd like to feel, but I have realized that it has nothing to do with my ability to attract and to please. This sort of recognition takes away most of the envy of "perfect bodies" and is far more important than a perfect body to sex appeal. It was not my perfect body that attracted those two men; it was the knowledge that I would be a lover with whom they could share an exciting relationship. |
