What's the worst part of getting a sex change from male
to female? When they remove half the brain.
Did you here that they discovered that there are female
hormones in beer? Yeah, apparently they had 100 guys
each drink 10 pints of beer. They all started running
their mouths and driving lousy.
Husband: Where do you want to go on holiday this year?
Wife: I want to go somewhere I've never been before.
Husband: Well, how about the kitchen?
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from
achieving them. -Dumas
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5
drinks.
Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women
won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman who is
shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten
anything in four days." She looked at him and said,
"God, I wish I had your willpower."
Why were shopping carts invented? To teach women to
walk on their hind legs.
Men have their faults. But women have only two.
Everything they say. And everything they do.
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and
your going to want to shoot it.
This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this
day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and
children. I will never forget that game of cards...
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set
of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT
trade!"
A man and his wife entered the dentist's office. "I
want a tooth pulled," the man said. "We are in a big
hurry, so let us not fool around with gas or Novocain
or any of that stuff." "You are a very brave man,"
remarked the dentist. "Which tooth is it?" "Show him
your bad tooth, honey," said the man to his wife.
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-
law.
Do you know what it means when you come home to a
little affection, a little tenderness, and a little
sympathy? It means you're in the wrong house.
How do men define a 50/50 relationship? She cooks/I
eat; she cleans/I dirty; she irons/I wrinkle.
All wives are alike, but they have different faces so
you can tell them apart.
What are two reasons why women don't mind their own
business?1.No mind. 2.No business.
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