what is the chicken smoking. off topic. for laughs. without
tock?
3 Replies. Back to #5440
Subject: CMGI What is the latest news on this stock?
To: succsessor
From: Diabolique
Mar 9 1999 2:04PM EST
Reply #5442 of 5476
Why don't you learn to spell before you pimp your worthless stock.
Subject: CMGI What is the latest news on this stock?
To: succsessor
From: Tastes Like Chicken
Mar 9 1999 5:02PM EST
Reply #5463 of 5476
OFF TOPIC Yo, hypester dude:
Thanks for tipping me off. Couple questions:
You've been on SI for less than a week, and you have a "large following" you have not told yet, but you are giving the CMGI folks first crack at your stupid POS BB carp stock? Is this a large following of squirrels that are interested in your acorn?
You have some sort of information about some deal that isn't known publicly? If that is so, how about finding out the balance sheet and the debt structure and the outstanding shares for this amazing "acorn" and posting that? That's what I'd be interested in.
"...in talks with Fujutsu [sic], IBM, and Microsoft?" Heavy, dude. What does that mean, exactly? They wrote to those companies asking for business? Are you an insider?
Are you a paid hypester? I know it's a dumb question, because it's hard to imagine someone hiring you, but I gotta ask. After the Time Machine BB scam, you never know.
Oh, and by the way, it's kinda illegal to trade on inside information. And it's also illegal to be hyping a stock without fully and accurately disclosing your compensation.
But it's only annoying to tell someone that can spell two syllable words that you know something they don't.
Back to the basement, Action Jackson, you missed a few semesters at Hypester State.
Thnaksss in Avdanse.
Subject: CMGI What is the latest news on this stock?
To: succsessor
From: Tastes Like Chicken
Mar 9 1999 6:32PM EST
Reply #5472 of 5476
OFF TOPIC succsessor (if indeed that is your real name):
One of my associates has reminded me that you have failed to complete the new member survey.
Please take a few moments and answer accurately.
INSTRUCTIONS: As a New Member, you appear to be having trouble with investment analysis and presenting your point of view in a manner that can be readily understood not only by participants on the thread you should be posting on, but all thread you post on.
In order for the "regulars" to better understand your background, please supply the following information.
Each correct answer is 5 points. Incorrect answers will have 10 points deducted.
Write your name in cursive:______________________
Age (approximate if you are not sure): ______________
Shoe size (left): __________________
Shoe size (right): __________________
If no shoes, number of feet______________
Occupation:
________Thread Moron
________Psychiatrist (subract 100 points)
________Parking Lot Attendant (part time OK)
________Investment Advisor
________Attorney Looking for Clients
________Securities PR man
________Head of My School's Investment Club
________Patient (day pass OK)
________What is an occupation? Is that like a job?
________Between jobs it's not my fault
________Offworlder (25 bonus points)
________Sweeper Upper
Spouse's species: _________________
Spouses Name: _____________________
Relationship with spouse:
________Sister
________Brother
________Aunt
________Uncle
________Cousin
________Mother/Father
________Not sure, it was dark
________Son/daughter
________What's that mean?
________Close freind from the anemal kingdum
Number of children living in household: ____________
Number that are yours: _________________
Mother's Name: ________________________________
Father's Name: _________________________________
(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4
(Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (____) own or (____) rent your trailer?
Total number of vehicles that will start: __________
Number of vehicles in front yard : __________
Number of vehicles in back yard : __________
Number of vehicles on cement blocks : __________
Recent procedures by your physician:
___________ Rectal exam (enema also counts)
___________ Frontal lobotomy
___________ Prescription for Viagra
___________ Removal of cerebral hairballs
___________ The Lorraine Bobbitt "short cut"
___________ Grade school physical (turn your head, now, cough…)
___________ Is that like a dokotor?
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
In my truck : __________
In my bedroom : __________
In the bathroom : __________
In the kitchen : __________
In the shed : __________
Model and year of your pickup: __________________ 194___.
Do you have a gun rack? ______ Yes ______ No (please explain)
Preferred method of picking stocks:
___________ Hot tip from my broker
___________ Ouiji board
___________ Recommendation from Money Magazine
___________ Tea leaves
___________ Ask the 15 year old kid from New Jersey
___________ SI Café recommendations
___________ Psychics on-line
Why are you on this thread?
___________ Looking for friends
___________ Freeloading and don't want to admit it
___________ Venting my hostile tendencies
___________ Handicapped and need a place to park
___________ Fantasizing about stocks is better than sex
___________ Dispensing worthless investment advice
___________ It's better than watching paint dry
___________ Engaging in self-destructive behavior
___________ Hyping my holdings
___________ Trolling for subscribers
___________ Pushed the wrong thingie on my mouse
___________ Can't think of anything else to do
___________ Looking for plaintiffs for a class action lawsuit
___________ Need a dose of intellectual honesty
___________ Just killing time while waiting for the mother ship
___________ Don't have anyone upstairs waiting for me
___________ What's that mean?
___________ I don't know
___________ Parcticing my riting skils
___________ The guards let me
___________ Trying to use up my 20 free hours a month
___________ Need a place to take my crap and then leave
What is your investment style?
___________ Disco trading
___________ Buy high, sell low
___________ Sheep in the herd
___________ Averaging down
___________ Getting back to even
___________ Jetstreaming
___________ March to the beat of a different drummer
___________ Short and proud of it
___________ What's that? Is that supposed to be funny?
What internet developments are most exciting to you:
___________ Sears selling appliances over the net
___________ Prodigy Classic
___________ email
___________ On-line chat rooms
___________ Merrill Lynch on-line trading
___________ Yahoo personal ads
When was the last time you had an original idea?
___________ What do you mean by that?
___________ I did. I remember when I... no I don't remember.
What is the latest technology upgrade you have made?
___________ Replaced a light bulb
___________ Installed "The Club" on my steering wheel
___________ Got one of those credit card things in the mail
___________ Went shopping for work boots (did the laces myself)
___________ Sent in my Publisher's Clearinghouse Official Entry
___________ Hooked up a window fan
___________ Ordered the George Foreman "Grilling Machine"
What does the chair in front of your computer look like?
___________ Puffy styrofoam bean bag
___________ The white porcelain one in the bathroom
___________ Three legged stool
___________ Plastic deck lounger
___________ Fire hydrant
___________ Don't have a computer
___________ Recline-O-Matic
___________ I don't use a chair
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
________ The National Enquirer
________ The Globe
________ TV Guide
________ Soap Operage Digest
________ Guns & Ammo
________ I get Daffy Duck Magazine at the store, does that count?
Electronic devices you own:
___________ Remote control
___________ Weed wacker
___________ Water heater
___________ Wrist watch with lighted dial
___________ Transistor radio
___________ Cool truck with pull back action
___________ Dial telephone
___________ Vibrator
___________ Electronic grill ignition system
___________ Atari computer
___________ Garage door opener
Modem speed:
___________ 2.4 K per second
___________ Don't have a phone
___________ What's a modem?
What do you do for entertainment:
___________ Just hang out
___________ Fish and cut bait
___________ Look at pictures in magazines
___________ Go bowling with the team
___________ Push my walker around Evanston
___________ Polish my Weber kettle
___________ Peruse the Victoria's Secret web-site
___________ Play another round
___________ Change the oil in my driveway
___________ Aerate my compost pile
Number of times you've seen a UFO : ____________
Number of times you've seen Elvis : ____________
Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO : ____________
What are your previous real estate investments:
____________ Time share condo
____________ Desert with great view
____________ Remote mountain cabin
____________ Swamp land
____________ Condo conversion reconverted to apartments
What plant does your character most closely resemble:
____________ Diffembachia
____________ Prickly pear cactus
____________ Dutch elm (diseased)
____________ Crab grass
____________ The dead ones on my kitchen counter
What is the best trade you ever made:
____________ Food stamps for baseball cards
____________ Stock tips for Beanie babies
____________ Brains for scrapple
____________ Manners for attitude
____________ Bought Amazon at $400/share
____________ Shorted Ebay at $36/share
____________ Haven't started trading yet
What is your favorite saying:
____________ This pig of a stock…
____________ I'll see you in court…
____________ What? What? Huh? What? What?
____________ Uh....
____________ What's a spread? What is that?
____________ What do the "up" arrows mean?
____________ You can't talk to me like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
____________ Where is that dog with fleas?
____________ Does anybody have real-time quote?
____________ What are those red words on the Preview?
Where did you see your latest bubble:
____________ In a pot
____________ In the bath tub
____________ In the garden
____________ In the mirror
____________ where I work
____________ In a tar pit
How often do you bathe:
_________ Weekly
_________ Monthly whether I need it or not
_________ Don't Have Any Indoor Plumbing
_________ Not Applicable
Color of teeth:
_________ Yellow
_________ Brownish - Yellow
_________ Brown
_________ Black
_________ Fangs only
How far is your trailer from a paved road?
_________ 1 mile
_________ 2 miles
_________ Don't know
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