You are so cruel. I had gotten up at 5 in the morning to gather escargots, and found a whole little village of them on the sidewalk. It was so early they hadn't even dressed yet; they were just sliding around naked, so I picked up several dozen, thinking how pleased you would be, and then the chef told me they weren't escargots at all, they were slugs and he had had enough of my peculiar ideas and he threw his funny hat in the sink and walked out and there I was with a pot of slugs and no chef so I thought well, how hard can it be. ANd I put some slugs in a frying pan and put some salt on them and then I went looking for garlic and when I came back, the slugs were gone! SO I threw some more in and salted them, but this time I watched them carefully, and do you know what? THey just melt! It was s o much fun that I melted them all before I realized that now I had nothing to feed you.
Realizing how hungry you would be after all that window washing, I was frantic to find something akin to escargots, because you do love them so,but the only thing in the pantry was a can of anchovies, which are related, aren't they?
I was smart enough not to salt them, although since they were already dead, maybe it wouldn't have mattered.
I am crushed now to learn that you weren't at all impressed after all the work I did.
ANd I was even polite enough not to mention the streaks you left on the living room windows. |
