Anti-3dfx Day humor
This is a little old (3/1/99), but I figured it's worth a laugh.
This is taken from oldmanmurray.com Regardless how you feel about this write-up, you should check out the page anyway. (It's a news page, not an anti-3dfx page.)
March is 3DFX RULES MONTH! 03.01.99 Chet "3DFX" Murray
Thanks to the no good classic rocker Steve Miller some people are being told about a crazy 3DFX payola scheme. You can read about it here www5.tomshardware.com, but it sounds pretty crazy. We don't believe it, and we believe anything. Fly like an Eagle my ass.
It's officially march, and the usual post-black history month depression has set in. To keep myself occupied, I've begun to remake all the graphics for our site. Each new graphic will be in stunning 3D. The kind of 3D that only looks good on an official 3DFX graphics card. Throw out those NVIDIA chipsets, our 3D graphics will look like crap on any TNT card. Let me cut right to the chase: we worship 3DFX as a god and in return manna rains down from heaven, just like the story of Jesus and the loaves or the Thundercats. We have a full liturgy planned. We'll be leaking the demo soon. Here's a taste:
Thou art the 3DFX chipset, the Son of the living God. And Dave Zacarias, director of investor relations, answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Whoring webmaster: for flesh and blood and timedemo1 hath not revealed it unto thee, but the 3DFX marketing department and a fifteen thousand dollar payment which is in heaven and en route in the mail. And I say also unto thee, That thou shalt support resolutions up to 2048x1536, and thou shalt support Multi-Texturing and furthermore, that support for Multi-Texturing shalt be patented, and upon this rock I will build my OpenGL 3DFX Minidriver; and NVIDIA shall not prevail against it. And I will give unto thee the key to the single pass / single cycle bump-mapped kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever keys thou shalt bind to the rocket launcher shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven and comprised of eight million triangles and possibly even displayed on a digital flat panel. Amen.
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