An Irishman, quite drunk, is driving wildly through the streets of Dublin. A cop, spotting the car weaving violently all over the city's roads, races after him and pulls him over.
"So, might I ask," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"
"Well constable, I've spent a fine evening at Patty's Pub," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few pints."
"I did all right, holding my own and all," the drunk says with a smile.
The cop, now standing straight and folding his arms, says sternly, "Did you know that back at the intersection of Clare and Moyasta, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens!" sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
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A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles...the salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure that if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"
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