Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know these are old as the hills, but it's late, and I'm outta here.
Jack
What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France?
Linoleum blownapart.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles
up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my
paw."
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a
beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One
says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are
you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's novocaine
during root canal work?
He wanted to transcend dental medication!
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't
stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a
hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and
would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One
afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was
dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly,
he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the
bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink
and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry,"
replied the bartender. "It's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."
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