SOUND EFFECTS
A man complained that his wife was hard of hearing. His friend asked, "Why don't you go have her tested?" The husband said, "She won't go." "Well, I'll tell you what to do," "You test her yourself. You stand ten feet behind her and say, 'What are we having for dinner?' and see if she answers." When the husband did this, he heard nothing. Then he moved up two feet and said it again. He heard nothing. He moved up three more feet and finally walked around to her face. "I ask you what's for dinner? he shouted. "Pot roast!" she answered. "I told you three times already."
EVERYONE NEEDS A LIFT NOW AND THEN
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially two shiny, silver walls in the hotel lobby that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an older lady, limping slightly with a cane, slowly walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them and into a small room. The walls closed and, as the boy and his father watched, small circles of light with numbers above the wall lit up. The father and son continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. Suddenly, the walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year-old woman stepped out. The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your mother." |