In case anyone missed this oldie, here is something that pertains to GRNO:
Noah And Today's Ark
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “Noah, in six months I am
going to make
it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the
evil
things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and
two of
every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an
ark.”
And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the
ark.
”OK,” Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the
blueprints,
”I'm your man.”
”Six months and it starts to rain,” thundered the Lord. “You better
have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!”
Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began
to fall
in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his
yard,
weeping, and there was no ark.
”Noah!” shouted the Lord, “where is My ark?” A lightning bolt
crashed
into the ground right beside Noah.
”Lord, please forgive me!” begged Noah. “I did my best, but there
were
some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the
ark's
construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to
hire
an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with
him
about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system.”
”My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning
ordinances
by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance
from
the city planning board.”
”Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark,
because
there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to
convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife
Service
that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me
catch
them, so no owls.”
”Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal
rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each
kind.”
”Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I
couldn't
complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement
on
your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they
had
no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being.”
”Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed
flood plan.
I sent them a globe!”
”Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal
Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm
supposed to hire.”
”The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to
leave the
country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind
of
use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five
years.”
With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
arched
across the sky.
Noah looked up and smiled. “You mean you are not going to
destroy the
world?” he asked hopefully.
”No,” said the Lord, “the government already has.”
|
