<<The main problem extremely shy guys have with
women is, I think, that if a man isn't self
confident, the woman has to fear that he knows
something she doesn't about himself.
Not necessarily so! There is no correlation
between dishonesty and shyness.>>
Oh dear, I miscommunicated horribly. This was not intended to refer to dishonesty in any way. At all. It was a flippant way of saying that if a man appears not to have confidence in himself, the woman may take that at face value instead of looking deeper to see certain unadvertised strengths.
<<As in Groucho's (or somebody's) remark, "You don't have an
inferiority complex, you're just inferior
You are assuming that people who are shy consciously think
they are inferior. I believe shyness is most often caused by
events, words, and actions of others during childhood.
Shyness is a programmed thing. I am shy, and that's a gut
reaction, but I have plenty of confidence in myself, and do
not think I am inferior. Anyway, people who think they are
superior are just as much of a problem to the world as those
who think they are inferior.>>
That was a joke, not an assumption, really. But I do think that the words of others during childhood can make one lose confidence and become shy, too, and it is likely the same sorts of words that do both. (Though they are finding shyness genes, I understand.) I was terribly terribly shy as a child, and lacking in self confidence, too, so I do tend to associate the two. And the words of my quite mad mother had a great deal to do with that, I think. When I met my husband, who thinks I'm just great (lol!), I got more self confident and less shy, over time. In fact, I think I lost all my early shyness, I quite astonish myself sometimes. Who was that wimp of a girl?
I couldn't agree with you more that intelligence is the most compelling, attractive quality in a man. It is all, really; or at least is a sine qua non. Hey, Stephen Hawking got a girlfriend. Maybe I misspelled his name. |
