I'm starting to wake up eager to get to the thread and find out what topic was explored the night before! What a fascinating array of opinions on this one---and all from people whom I consider to be the brightest and most thoughtful group of my associations. You all challenge me to think through the everyday stands I take!
As the parents of two young teenage boys, this is a pretty personal issue; we have strong opinions that I consider to be right and applicable for our family, but certainly not for every family in America. Sadly, our country has two levels of society that grow farther apart every year--and what is desirable, helpful, necessary for one is the opposite for the other. When sex education was offered in sixth grade, our school offered the session first to parents to evaluate, and then to the children who had parental permission. The same in seventh for drugs. I withheld permission, not so much because of content, but because for MY children, it was not age-appropriate. (My boys have always been kept socially behind the average. My older one just had his first date this fall at almost 16!) THey aren't ignorant at all; we've tried to introduce all the correct information as they grew, but our emphasis has been on personal commitment and responsibility, the ramifications of teenage pregnancy and the health risks, but mostly that sex before marriage is morally wrong. This is certainly not the emphasis of any education programs; abstinence is mentioned, but it's kind of a "Well, this would be nice, but nobody really believes you can do it" approach.
You know what scares me? (Besides the inevitable power of hormonal impetus!) What happens to all our carefully constructed defenses and training when they meet a lovely, intelligent girl who pulls out a condom and sanely convinces them that human sexuality is a natural function, and gives them all the other highsounding, but to my mind morally bankrupt reasons that sex is ok. ...I believe CGB will teach her daughter that commitment is an important adjunct to sex, but what teenager doesn't believe he or she isn't in love and committed? Will my boys be able to hang on to our beliefs? Will they have internalized them enough to act on them? I don't know the answer but hopefully, they'll have the strength of character to make the right decisions and I believe that this comes from years of morality based training at home and honest, cooperative conversation about all the issues and alternatives.
However, compare our situation with that of a child from a broken home with uninvolved parents who are struggling to survive or worse who are neglectful, even abusive, a child with no support, no real love, no guidance or structure. My highflown ideas are completely inapplicable and silly. Michael, of course, your requirements are right (although I think that it can be done without religious affiliation). Unfortunately, that's not the reality for so many children -and how can we best protect and educate them, preventing future generations of the same?? It's like abortion. I don't believe in it; personally I wouldn't have one, but until every child is guaranteed a stable, loving home, I'm not ready to force someone to bear a child based on my beliefs. Until all children have parents who act as parents, we are stuck with a situation that grows uglier and scarier and does so at an increasingly rapid rate. No wonder we grasp at any alternative that may provide some answers! Since you can't enforce what we know is ideal, what do we do?? Do we stop trying to help, even if the attempts are ineffective or the results not proven yet? How do you put an entire nation back on track!!! I can only do what I feel is right with my children and perhaps influence others through my community actions. It doesn't feel like very much. |
