Broken Windows Theory
By JAMES GLEICK
New York Times Technology
Forget about Y2K. This is serious. Microsoft now acknowledges the existence of a bug in tens of millions of copies of Windows 95 and Windows 98 that will cause your computer to "stop responding (hang)" -- you know, what you call crash -- after exactly 49 days, 17 hours, 2 minutes and 47.296 seconds of continuous operation.
All right, it's not really serious. At least there's no need to stockpile groceries and bottled water. It's just an unusually poignant reminder of how unreliable computer software remains, compared with the average household appliance. It's also a great excuse to hang out on the phone with a support engineer.
The reason you didn't notice this bug yourself is that you've never kept your PC running that long without crashing for one of a thousand other reasons.
Still, aggrieved PC users around the globe are passing the word in relevant Internet newsgroups: microsoft.public.win98.gen_discussion, alt.microsoft.crash. crash.crash, alt.is.bill.gates.satan. (Amazing how many relevant newsgroups there seem to be!) They snicker about the new "autocrash feature." It turns into a United Nations gripe session. "Maksymalny uptime Win95 = 49.7 dnia," a user in Poland reports. "Vamos, un reboot," says a Chilean victim. Some have started a competition to see if they can keep their PC's running long enough to hit the bug.
Why 49.7 days? Because computers aren't counting the days. They're counting the milliseconds. One counter begins when Windows starts up; when it gets to 232 milliseconds -- which happens to be 49.7 days -- well, that's the biggest number this counter can handle. And instead of gracefully rolling over and starting again at zero, it manages to bring the entire operating system to a halt.
How did Microsoft discover the bug, almost four years after the release of Windows 95? Melissa Havel, a public-relations representative with the thankless chore of obfuscating these questions, says that a Microsoft "partner" stumbled across it. (A partner, she says, can be just about anything: a PC manufacturer, a customer, maybe even The New York Times -- cool!) "We keep our conversations with our partners confidential, and therefore are unable to tell you exactly who reported this issue," she says.
Anyway, suppose that you want to be responsible and get the problem repaired -- you know, just in case? The good news is that Microsoft has a "supported fix" now available. The bad news is that Microsoft isn't making it easy to get. You find yourself in an episode of "What if Kafka Tried to Get Tech Support?"
You are entitled to free support unless, perchance, "this product was already installed on your computer when you purchased it from the Original Equipment Manufacturer."
Of course, Windows came with the computer. So you call the manufacturer, whose tech-support people don't know anything about this bug or the "supported fix."
Next, Microsoft advises, "Please call the pay-per-incident number." There, you must authorize a $35 charge to your credit card. But not to worry: "This fee is refundable if it is determined that you only require the fix you requested."
Eventually, if my experience is any guide, the case will be "escalated" to a senior technician, who will e-mail the relevant files. Then you'll get a new error message: "The disk labeled 'VTDAPI Update Release' is now required. This disk is provided by your computer manufacturer."
They'll look into that. Meanwhile, you can't have your $35 back, because the case is not yet closed.
And any millisecond now...
"Autocrash feature". I like that. Who says MSFT doesn't innovate?
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