SMILE AND SAY CHEESE!
A San Francisco motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed
trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture...of handcuffs.
HELLO??
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a
car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and
told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and
wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was
arrested.
JIFFY LUBE
45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas after a
mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in
the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic
for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she
didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change
the oil.
HUKT ON FONIX WERKT FOR ME
Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso
from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all
of its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana. They
were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the gas
company on the side of the truck.
A FOOL FOR AN ATTORNEY
Oklahoma City... Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a
convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his
lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was
doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified
that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying
and then said, "I should of blown your [expletive] head off." The
defendant paused, then quickly added, " - if I'd been the one that was
there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a
30-year sentence.
SIR, COULD I SEE YOUR LICENSE?
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing
their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit
neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked
him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin give them his driver's
license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they
arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed Gaitlin was
wanted for a two year old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
AHH, THAT'S BETTER!
A judge in Louisville decided a jury went "a little bit too far" in
recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of
five robberies and a kidnapping. The judge reduced the sentence to
1,001 years.
OOPS! I BLEW THAT ONE!
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative
defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed
a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how
you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his
limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence
the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or
not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance
he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
|
