<< 30 Ways to Have an Extra-Specially Fun Time At WalMart! >PLUS A GREAT WAY TO BEAT THE JANUARY BLAHS! > >1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding >them >at strategic locations. > >2. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't >realize it. > >3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the >day. > >4.Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together >and practically yell at him " I need some tampons. > >5. Try on bras over top of your clothes. > >6. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. > >7. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "I >smell sex > and candy" > >8. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've >got a >Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. > >9. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn >the volumes to "10." > >10.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. > >11. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. > >12. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. > >13. Put M&M's on layaway. > >14. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. > >15. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite >them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath > >16. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air >fresheners. > >17. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. > >18. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you >people just leave me alone?" > >19. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you >pick your nose. > >20. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield >with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. > >21. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. > >22. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk >if he knows where the anti-depressants are. > >23. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the >restrooms. > >24. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from >"Mission:Impossible." > >25. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. > >26. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various >funnels. > >27. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things >like "pick me !! pick me!!" and scare them into believing that the clothes >are talking to them. > >28. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position >and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" > >29. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. > >30. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. > >If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get >out much,and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. >> |