NEWS FLASH! Not sure what to make of it though…
In a joint press release, the White House, United Nations, and NASA have confirmed that a few months ago NASA received an alien transmission from spacecraft that had just left Mars. The spacecraft are headed for Earth and government officials have been in contact with the aliens for some time.
A NASA spokesperson explains the aliens are not really aliens because their origin is Earth. Apparently, a few million years ago a comet struck Earth and the environmental damage resulted in the destruction of all dinosaurs, or so we thought. These aliens are ancestors of dinosaurs who were thrown up into the sky and out of Earth's gravity at the time the comet struck Earth. How the dinosaurs survived as they wizzed through space has yet to be determined, but by a happy coincidence many of them were propelled on a direct path to Mars. They survived the landing on Mars with only a few burns from entry into the thin Martian atmosphere. At first they attempted to live on the surface and even built a face-like structure hoping it would be seen by survivors on Earth. Eventually they gave up on being rescued and moved underground. As they put it in one transmission, "Our skin is dry and scaly enough as it is, this dry Martian atmosphere just makes it worse."
At first, the alien transmissions were met with enthusiasm by officials. However, officials have expressed concern over some of the more recent transmissions which have a tendency to include phrases such as, "Be prepared to serve us when we land," "You will serve us as your masters," etc. A NASA spokesperson stated, "We are hoping that these are just translation errors." US President William Clinton stated, "If our weapons are found to be inferior to theirs, then of course we will be happy do as they wish."
In a move to prevent inadvertently offending our new dinosaur visitors (or masters, as the case may be), worldwide government officials have ordered the destruction of all sci-fi movies and books which portray aliens in a bad light. Noted sci-fi author Ray Bradbury said, "Of course that means 99.9% of all sci-fi literature and movies must be destroyed." On a related note, Oscar-winning director Stephen Spielberg announced he did not direct those "horrendous Jurassic Park films, and I don't know how that ugly rumor got started."
OK guys, this is all very exciting. I'm thinking that either way this is good for HTRN. If the dinosaurs are friendly, they'll be very popular and a dinosaur craze will sweep the world. But, if the dinosaurs become our masters, then HTRN can build replicas of our new masters for every town square. Either way we clean up!
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