Cindy: The following links tell you exactly what is expected of you while testifying in court. These are expert opinions and it has always been as described in the following articles. Some are case specific. All are fitting. This is the reason many find the transcripts humorous.
scheinin.com
Twenty Five Suggestions to a Witness
by Steven J. Scheinin
1. Before you testify, try to picture the scene, the objects there, the distances and just what happened so that you can recall more accurately when you are asked. If the question is about distances or time, and if your answer is only an estimate, be sure you say it is only an estimate.
2. A neat appearance and proper dress in Court are important.
3. Avoid distracting mannerisms, such as chewing gum, or playing with a pen while testifying. While taking the oath, stand upright, pay attention and say "I do" clearly.
4. Don't try to memorize what your are going to say. This is unnecessary, but do try to go over those matters upon which you will be examined in your own mind prior to trial.
5. Be serious in the courtroom. Avoid laughing and talking about the case in the presence of the jury or anywhere in the courthouse where you may be observed.
6. Speak clearly and loudly enough so that the farthest juror can hear you easily.
7. Listen carefully to the questions asked. No matter how nice the attorney may seem on cross-examination, he may be trying to discredit you. Understand the question, have it repeated if necessary, then give a thoughtful, considered answer. Do not give a snap answer without thinking. Don't rush into answering, but neither should there be an unnaturally long delay to a simple question if you know the answer.
8. Explain your answer, if necessary. Give the answer in your own words, and if a question can't be truthfully answered with a "yes" or "no", you have the right to explain the answer.
9. Answer only the question asked you. Do not volunteer information not actually asked for.
10. If your answer was not correctly stated, correct it immediately. If your answer was not clear, clarify it immediately.
11. The judge and jury are interested only in the facts. Therefore, don't give your conclusions and opinions unless specifically asked.
12. Unless certain, don't say "That's all of the conversation" or "nothing else happened". Instead say, "That's all I recall", or "That's all I remember happening". It may be that after more thought or another question, you will remember something important.
13. Always be courteous, even if the lawyer questioning you may appear discourteous. Don't appear to be a cocky witness. This will lose you the respect of the judge and jury. Any lawyer who can make a witness mad will probably cause the witness to exaggerate, appear unobjective, and emotionally unstable. Keep your cool.
14. You are sworn to tell the truth. Tell it. Every material truth should be readily admitted, even if not to your advantage. Do not stop to figure out whether your answer will help or hurt your side. Just answer the questions to the best of your memory. Do not exaggerate.
15. Stop instantly when the judge interrupts your, or when an attorney objects to a question.
16. Give positive, definite answers when at all possible. Avoid saying, "I think", "I believe", or "in my opinion", if you can be positive. If you do not know, say so. Don't make up an answer. You can be positive about important things which you naturally would remember. If asked about little details which a person naturally would not remember, it is best just to say so if you don't remember. But don't let the lawyer get you in a trap of answering question after question with "I don't know".
17. Try not to seem nervous. Avoid mannerisms which will make the judge or jury think you are scared, or not telling the truth, or all that you know.
18. Above all - this is most important - do not lose your temper. Remember that some attorneys on cross-examination will try to wear you out so you will lose your temper and say things that are not correct or that will hurt you or your testimony. Keep your cool.
19. If you don't want to answer a question, don't ask the judge whether you must answer it. If it is an improper question I will take it up with the judge. Don't ask the judge for advice.
20. When being questioned by opposing counsel don't look at me or at the judge for help in answering a question. You are on our own. If the question is improper I will object. If a question is asked and there is no objection, answer it. Never substitute your ideas of what you believe the rules of evidence are.
21. Never argue with the opposing attorney.
22. Do not nod your head for a "yes" or "no" answer. Speak so that the court reporter (or recording device) can hear the answer.
23. When coming from the witness stand after testifying, wear a confident expression, but do not smile or appear downcast.
24. Sometimes, not often, an opposing attorney may ask this question: "Have you talked to anybody about this case?" If you say "no", the judge or jury knows that isn't right because good attorneys try to talk to a witness before he takes the stand. If you say, "yes", the opposing lawyer may try to imply that you have been told what to say. The best thing to do is to say very frankly that you have talked with whomever you have talked with - myself, other witnesses, relatives - and that you were just asked what the facts were. All that I want you to do is just to tell the truth as clearly as possible.
25. Now, go back and re-read these suggestions so you will have them firmly in your mind. I hope they will help. These aren't to be memorized. If you remember you are just talking to some neighbors on the jury, you will get along fine.
courts.co.calhoun.mi.us
"Serving as a Witness"
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Prepared by the State Bar of Michigan
Copyright 1993
Someday you may be called to testify at a deposition or in a court or administrative proceeding. You may have valuable information about the case, or know the people involved, or have seen what happened, or you, yourself, may be directly involved in a trial. You may be appearing voluntarily or, in some cases, you may be served with a subpoena summoning you to appear in court. You have to obey a subpoena or suffer legal penalties.
As a witness you are an essential part of the trial; justice cannot be served if the facts are not known. If you are asked to testify, you may wish to talk to the person asking for your testimony usually a lawyer in the caseabout what will be expected of you. Knowing what will be expected can help you organize your thoughts before testifying. Also, you may seek advice from a lawyer of your choice in preparing the testimony, and your lawyer can be present when you testify.
A deposition is a sworn statement taken outside of the court. It may or may not be used in the actual court proceedings, but it is treated as seriously as if the judge is present.
Whether you are required to appear or do so voluntarily, you should cooperate and take the job seriously. A conscientious witness who testifies forthrightly is crucial to maintaining confidence in the legal system. When you serve as a witness or a juror, you help make the system of justice work.
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Your testimony will be important to a fair and impartial trial. These suggestions may help when you appear as a witness:
Be On Time -The court must handle many cases. Your tardiness could seriously interfere with the court's schedule.
Be Presentable- Court business is a serious matter. Dress accordingly.
Be Attentive- Do not lounge and slump. Sit upright in the witness chair and be alert. Listen carefully to every question. If you do not understand something, ask to have it repeated as many times as necessary. Do not answer a question you do not understand. Answer directly, thoughtfully and truthfully.
Stay Cool- Do not let the strange and formal environment of the courtroom upset your composure. Be yourself and stay as relaxed as possible.
Always Tell the Truth- Every court case is a search for the truth, for what happened. As a witness you are under oath. You are expected to tell the truth always, to the best of your knowledge. The penalties for untruthful testimony are severe.
Do Not Argue- No matter which side called you as a witness; be polite and courteous to the judge or the lawyer asking the questions. Hold your temper and never argue with the person questioning you. Arguments distract from the case and can cause you to forget the question. It could reflect on your believability and tend to lessen the importance of your testimony.
Do Not Volunteer Information- Answer only the question being asked. If it cannot be answered by a simple yes or no, then answer in more detail, but stick to the question and do not go beyond it. When answering, distinguish things you know from your own experience from things you may have just heard about or which other people said. Testify only about things you personally know, uless you are asked directly about other peoples opinions and statements.
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Do Not Second Guess the Question- As a witness, your job is to present the information for which you are asked. It is not your job to decide whether the question is a good question, or whether something else should be asked, or to imagine why a particular question is being asked.
Do Not Guess- Answer only what you know or saw yourself. Do not speculate or guess. If you do not know the answer to a particular question, just say so and wait for the next question.
Do Not Talk Out of Turn- Sometimes one of the lawyers may object to a question. This is the lawyer's right. The objection may be raised before you answer the question. When this happens, stop talking right away. The judge will rule on the objection, and then instruct you whether or not to answer the question.
Speak to the Jury- If the case is being tried before a jury, direct your answers to them. If it is a case without a jury, answer so that the judge can hear and see you. Eye contact helps to establish your credibility and your relationship with the judge and jury.
Speak Clearly- Do not mumble or be vague. The court reporter must be able to record every word. Each juror needs to hear the answers. Speak in a clear and confident tone of voice.
Correct Any Mistakes- A wrong answer should be corrected immediately. Unclear answers should be fully explained. Everything goes on the transcript. Do not be embarrassed or hesitate to correct an answer during the time you are on the witness stand. Anyone can make a mistake. If you discover after testifying that you gave incorrect information, you may contact the lawyer who asked you to testify and indicate what the proper response should have been. The lawyer will know whether to correct the record, and how to do it, if necessary.
divorcedfromjustice.com
HOW TO TESTIFY IN COURT
The following information will help you learn how to testify in court.
This information is very important. How you look and sound to the judge may determine whether or not he or she will find you credible, and could weigh heavily in the outcome of your case. One New York mother, for example, lost custody of her two young sons in 1993 mainly because the judge presiding over her divorce thought that she looked angry in the courtroom.
The following information appears in the book, HERE'S HOW YOU GET A DIVORCE IN SANTA CLARA COUNTY by Robin Yeamans, J.D. Certified Family Law Specialist Attorney, copyright 1997.
Chapter VII. Witness Instructions
Tell the Truth Convincingly
When you testify in court, you will, of course, tell the truth. You want to tell the truth in a clear an convincing way, not in a confusing and stumbling way. The purpose of these instructions for witnesses is to help you testify so that your testimony is clear and easily understood.
How To Answer Questions
Answer questions directly and simply. the best answer starts with a "yes" or "no" (if the question can be answered "yes" or "no"). and then has one to three sentences of explanation. For example, "Yes, we have three children." "Yes, when we married, we put a down payment on the home' my parents loaned us $20,000, and the entire amount was used for the down payment."
Listen To The Question
Listen carefully to the question that is asked, and answer it. This is particularly true when it is the judge who asks the question. You may explain your answer, but answer the question.
Don't Worry About Looking Stupid
Don't worry about whether you look stupid. Just tell the truth, and don't make up answers when you aren't sure of the answer. For example, if an attorney says to you in an indignant and shocked manner, "Didn't you read that before you signed it?!" If you did not read it before signing it, say so. Don't let the attorney's manner bully you into an incorrect answer. Don't let your fear of looking stupid push you into making up answers.
Don't guess. If you answer is an estimate or only an approximation, say so. It is okay to say you are making an estimate, but you should not just guess at an answer.
It's OK Not To Remember
If you don't remember something, say, "I don't remember." This is very important. If you are asked about doing something, and you don't specifically remember what you didn't, say so. You can offer to testify as to your usual practice, and tell the court this is what you are doing: "I don't remember what I did on February 27, but usually I go straight home from work, arriving about 6 PM."
It's OK To Talk To People About Your Case
If you are asked who you discussed the case with, be honest and tell the court you you talked to. On the other hand, discussions with an attorney are privileged and confidential, and while you can say you talked to an attorney, you should not reveal what was said by you and by the attorney.
State What You Personally Saw or Heard
In court if you are asked if you "know" something, this usually means you are being asked whether you personally saw or you personally heard something. If your answer is based solely on what someone else told you, say so. In everyday life people feel they "know" things that others have told them, but in court this is not what is meant by "know."
Be Careful of Questions With "All" or "None " in Them
In court if a question has the word "all" or "none," you need to understand that this does not mean "almost all" or "hardly any." "All" means absolutely every single one with no exceptions, and "none" means not even one single one. Be very careful about questions with "all" and "none" in them. When asked, "Is that all?" you may want to say, "That is all that I can think of right now." Don't say, That's all he said," or "Nothing else occurred." You may well remember other examples later.
Don't Guess About The Lawyer's Motives
Don't try to guess why you are being asked each question. Just focus on giving truthful answers. This is the best way to respond to tricky questions -- with truth.
Loose Lips Sink Ships
Do not discuss the case at all in the courthouse hallways, restrooms, or elevators. That nice lady near you may be your spouse's lawyer's secretary.
Miscellaneous Rules
Don't put your hand over your mouth while you testify.
Do not chew gum.
You cannot allow yourself to get angry on the witness stand, no matter how insulting the questions you are asked may be. some lawyers purposely make people angry because you can't think as well when you're angry.
Don't memorize your testimony.
Do not argue with the other party. Address your remarks to the judge, not to your spouse. The only time you will talk to your spouse is when you cross-examine him/her.
Don't wear anything that is sexy. A woman in court should never wear anything low-cut. Dress as you would for an important business appointment or for church, unless you are being asked to pay support, in which case you will want to dress more casually.
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