The Official List of Women
1) Expensive Women: Most Women fall into this definition.
Expensive Women can be recognized by the following - fur coats,
$500 dresses, spandex, bright colored shorts, and shirts
with Greek letters on them. 98% of good Women fall
into this category.
Advantages: If you can afford it, it will be great.
Disadvantages: Many, mostly in the form of checking
account depletion.
Often not worth it.
2) Cheap Women: Very rare. Usually comes in the form of
a girlfriend of yours who will not go away no matter
what you do. Cheap Women can be recognized by the
following - they will often pay for dinner, understands
when you are broke, calls every day, wants it constantly,
easily hurt, but shakes it off.
Advantages: Inexpensive, guaranteed, loving, will
try anything once and sometimes twice. You're lucky
if you find this.
Disadvantages: Won't go away, possessive, bugs you
all the time, can keep you from the tasks of finding
other Women, will eventually want to get
married and/or have children soon thus ruining it.
Often not worth it.
3) Hired Women: Found in the Hollywood area of Southern
Cal and in every other large city in the US and abroad.
Recognized by scanty clothes and come-hither looks.
Expense varies greatly with the quality. The difference
between Hired Women and Expensive Women is that the
money is up-front.
Advantages: You don't have to stick around, won't
tell your girlfriend,
doesn't care who you are or what you look like, often
very experienced,usually cheaper than Expensive Women.
Disadvantages: More expensive than Cheap Women in the
long run, risk of disease is high, is illegal in most
areas and the risk of jail time is high.
Often not worth it.
4) Virgin Women: This type is getting rarer each day.
Recognized by conservative clothes, good manners,
and a marked distaste for dirty jokes and porno movies.
Can be very loving if you promise marriage, but will
cause you more problems as you go along. Frustration
level is high as Virgin Women tend to want to stay
that way for some unknown reason.
Advantages: Risk of disease is very low, will offer a
very tight "fit" if it gives in, sometimes open to
new experience, will often offer "other"
services if Virginity is to be maintained.
Disadvantages: Usually will not give in until
marriage, will cause discomfort upon use, not very
imaginative, not usually into using birth
control which can cause "accidents", can only be used once.
Usually not worth it unless you're into that sort of thing.
5) Nympho Women: Very rare. Recognized by the
tendency to drag you by your baxxs into bed and going
at it to the point of exhaustion Very experienced,
will teach you things you never knew. Expense varies depending
on level of Nymphomania.
Advantages: Will send you into la-la land, will try anything once.
Disadvantages: You are probably not the only one, thus
disease risk can be high, will tire you out and ask for
more, can be unstable, will not give a steady relationship.
Often not worth it.
6) Frigid Women: Less rare. See (4) for recognition. Difference
is that this Woman will not yield no matter what. Any expense
involved is simply wasted (unless you are into real frustration).
Advantages: There are no advantages.
Disadvantages: Too many to list here. Best to stay
away once recognized.
Never worth it.
7) Innocent Nympho Women: Rare. Recognized by being in
a small, sweet, innocent package which you would
never in a million years think would give in, but when it
does, you are in for a hell of a surprise. Often mistaken
for (4). Expense varies, but usually falls into
the cheaper category.
Advantages: The surprise is blissful. Always worth it.
Keep it if you can.
Disadvantages: If (4) is mistaken for (7), serious
consequences may result. May or may not be faithful.
8) Party Women: Found at bars and at parties. Recognized
by glass of wine in hand and bloodshot eyes. Will
engage in group festivities while completely ripped.
Expense usually covers drinks. Make sure you are not
ripped as to better enjoy the experience.
Advantages: Easy to obtain unless you are real
unlucky. Be sure to say the right things.
Disadvantages: Disease risk is high, will not usually
remain faithful, the Support System may tend to puke all over you.
Often not worth it.
9) Nutsy Women: Support System has psychological
problems. Recognized by the fact that she will
go out with you, then spill her problems on you. May
tend to kill you while you sleep. Gives in for no
apparent reason... Usually found as a quiet co-worker.
Advantages: Easy.
Disadvantages: Never really worth it. |
