I had to retype this... so sorry for any errors.
Translations of Common phrases used by males:
“I'm going fishing.”
Really means: “ I'm going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”
“It's a guy thing.”
Really means: “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and there is no chance at all o making it sound logical.”
“Can I help with dinner?”
Really means: “Why isn't it already on the table?”
“Uh huh.” “Sure honey.” or “Yes dear.”
Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
“It would take too long to explain.”
Really means: “ I have no idea how it works.”
“I've been getting more exercise lately.”
Really means: “ The batteries in the remote are dead.”
“We're going to be late.”
Really means: “Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.”
“Take a break, honey you're working too hard.”
Really means: “I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“That's interesting dear.”
Really means: “Are you still talking?”
“Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love.”
Really means: “ I forgot our anniversary again.”
“You expect too much of me.”
Really means: “You want me to stay awake.”
“That's women's work.”
Really means: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.”
“You know how bad my memory is.”
Really means: “I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the VIN of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”
“Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal.”
Really means: U have severed a limb, but I'll bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt.”
“Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing.”
Really means: “I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon.”
“I can't find it.”
Really means: “It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.”
“What did I do this time?”
Really means: “What did you catch me doing?”
“I heard you”
Really means: “I Have no idea what you said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”
“That looks terrific!”
Really means: “Oh please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving.”
“I missed you .”
Really means: “I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we're out of toilet paper.”
“I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are.”
Really means: “I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again, but I'll die before I admit it.”
“We share the housework.”
Really means: “I make the messes, you clean them up.”
“This relationship is getting too serious.”
Really means: “You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck.”
“ I don't need to read the instructions.”
Really means: “ I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.”
“I do help around the house.”
Really means: “ I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.”
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