Interesting Read:
Wanna good tip? Don't listen to mine
I am not stock-market savvy. When Amazon.com came on the scene, I said fat chance
TOMMY SCHNURMACHER
The Gazette
While half asleep on the 24 bus early Wednesday morning, I overheard a tall, prosperous gentleman who was very excited about investing in the stock market.
The following morning, during a radio interview, American author Howard Ruff told me to sell every stock and bond immediately.
Who should I believe?
I was somewhat suspicious of the bus passenger, since he was directing his comments at the seat next to him even though there was no one in it.
Ruff, on the other hand, has some impressive credentials.
With 13 children and 48 grandchildren, Ruff obviously has a knack for time management. He found enough time to write a book called How to Prosper During the Coming Bad Years, one of the best-selling financial books in history.
In his latest book, How to Prosper During the Hard Times Ahead, Ruff modestly lists some of his more memorable accomplishments.
Apparently, he has had dinner with Chiang Kai-Shek. Ruff has caught a piranha in the Amazon and eaten it. Evelyn Wood taught him to read 3,000 words a minute, and he even had a Canadian connection - he was once roasted by actor Lorne Greene.
Ruff, who also had a major role in the movie Rockwell, admits that one critic called his performance as a corrupt federal judge "not much of a stretch."
A large part of the book warns readers that the Y2K computer crisis will "expose dangerous fault lines in the American financial system."
Ruff is ready.
Page 69 is particularly frightening. Ruff suggests that you buy "at least a six-month supply of non-perishable food. É A year's supply would be better."
That's the second paragraph.
By the fifth paragraph, Ruff is rather specific, imploring all and sundry to "liquidate all your paper investments (stocks, bonds, Treasury bills É)" except for Y2K-compliant stocks and repair companies he lists in chapter 10.
He strongly recommends that you get your selling act together by June or August.
Ruff urges readers to "prepare for the greatest stock-market crash in history, triggered by social unrest, a rash of bankruptcies, Y2K-caused corporate losses É and bank malfunctions and closures."
Who wants to read about the greatest stock-market crash in history when you just bought a few hundred shares of a promising gold mine for less than a dime per share?
So what if they never find gold? It's the hysteria that counts. Even if they don't unearth a speck of bullion, the company's management should be clever enough to add a "dot.com" to its name.
Or perhaps they can make an announcement that they plan to buy some Idaho geek's E-commerce company determined to market toilet paper in cyberspace.
The perfect combination - an everyday necessity and the Internet. I can see it all now. Two-ply.com.
Ruff's book also contains a number of stock recommendations. He writes, "My No. 1 Y2K stock pick is Keane Inc. (KEA-Amex). This company has been around since 1965 with a consistent growth record in revenues and profits. It is in the Y2K repair business."
Although Ruff was keen on Keane, a discreet glance at the stock listings on the Net revealed that the aforementioned treasure has a 52-week range between $17.25 and $60.94.
It closed on Friday at a rather unspectacular $19.94, down 94 cents from the previous close.
When I pointed out that most of his hot picks had headed due south, Ruff was unruffled. "Great," he said. "Now they're even better buys. Remember - the best tip is to buy low and sell high."
Ruff calmly predicts that gold will skyrocket as high as $2,000 U.S. an ounce by the end of the year. He foresees silver heading for the $100 mark.
In his learned volume, he writes, "the grossly overvalued Clinton stock-market bubble will burst, possibly even before you read this book."
I have read the book and the bubble has still not burst.
But what do I know? I am a rank amateur in this business, although I was smart enough to open an account at a discount brokerage.
It has been said that Henry Ford got out just before the 1929 crash when his shoeshine boy gave him a stock tip. Local high rollers may decide it's time to get out when I start writing about the stock market.
They may be on to something. Most of my financial savvy was acquired during Grade 3 when I grew tired of playing my Monopoly game, which was missing all of the green houses and most of the red hotels.
I turned instead to Stock Ticker. By Grade 4, I had amassed a play-money fortune and lost most of my friends. They preferred to score in street hockey rather than sitting cross-legged on the floor waiting for stocks to split.
I do not have an uncanny ability to really pick them. When Amazon.com first came on the scene, I said fat chance. Who in their right mind would ever buy a book on the Internet when it's so much easier to read it free over a latte at Chapters?
Everyone is talking about the market and I don't want to feel left behind. I would love to get all the inside information, but I have been reliably informed that this would be illegal.
How can you tell if a stock tip is worth taking?
One friend told me to look at earning and price ratios. That didn't sound like much fun.
Another friend suggested that I speak to any stockbroker as long as it wasn't her ex-husband.
I finally developed my own system by looking at the stock charts in the Saturday paper and searching for wayward stocks that have been going up and down like a yo-yo. There's also the Yahoo Finance site, which is very useful. You can keep your own portfolio up to date. It's wonderful to know that you are only 15 to 20 minutes behind from knowing precisely how much you are losing.
The stock market is much better than the casino. It gets more respect and you don't have to worry about losing a really great hand just because the jerk sitting next to you insisted on splitting two tens with the dealer showing a six.
I still want to get in on all the E-commerce action. If I have any spare time next week, I will start up a new Internet company devoted to dental floss.
Plaque.com has a certain ring to it.
Unfortunately, I can't use it. It's already been taken by a San Jose, Calif., company that flogs award plaques and etched crystal.
So much for that idea. I guess I will just have to wait for some really good tips. Send them directly to my E-mail address.
If your tips pan out, I promise to write from the Caymans. |
