Ms. Barbara Drakes
SHORT Hills
NJ
Dear Mama Bear Drakes:
As a result of your efforts to insulate your red-headed step-child, Anaxagoras, from my extremely profane yet tastefully appropriate post of this past Thursday evening, I found myself unable to post to SI for an excruciating 72 hour period. This sentence which was exacted without benefit of judge or jury was for the crime of felony short bashing. As you will recall, I mentioned to your step-son that I had been waiting four months to make my comment. That was the felonious part of the crime in that I am told that it went to show premeditation.
Having served my time and having earned my parole, I want to use this forum to warn all my friends around the cyber world as to what lurks in the purgatory to which I was sent. There were serial killers and rapists, there were thieves and prostitutes. But worst of all, standing over in one corner that they apparently controlled and where none of those bad dudes would go near, stood the class action lawyers and a bunch of shorts with whom they played ball every day.
My three day banishment is a good example of the punishment fitting the crime. I certainly misspoke when I said what I said ( first amendment notwithstanding) and to anyone except Drakes and Anaxagoras whom I might have offended, I apologize.
As regards those individuals, this incident reminds me of a case I handled in my early days in the law practice. In that case, I represented a fellow who had been brought before the magistrate for assault due to the fact that he had slugged his wife. After hearing the case, the magistrate fined my client $50.00. My client promptly handed the Judge a $100.00 bill and just as promptly, slugged his wife again. The Judge was astonished and asked my client what he thought he was doing. My client stated quite simply that had he known that the fine would have been so cheap, he would have done it twice the first time.
Remember that Rice's shares are green.
OSO
P.S.- What was it that you found to be gratuitous about my post? Was that the word for the day on your learn a word a day calendar and you thought that you would try to use it in a sentence? The way that works, you are supposed to look at the definition before you use the word.
P.P.S. Also, in response to the many e-mails which I received in this regard, Mama Bear is not a relative of mine even though we have the same last name. Do you people think that the Bear family is a dysfunctional group like the Unabomber's family who would turn in their own kin.
P.P.S. When I called Drakes Raul the other day, I guess I hit a nerve. He has clearly shown his ability to call in a hit man (or woman) , get the job done and get on down the road. |
