JUMPER AND MYTHMAN GET THEIR RADIO SHOW BACK...
After a series of litigious conflicts and a stay at the Betty Ford clinic, our two heroes have decided to put away their differences and return to their one true calling (and only employable skill), their radio show....
MYTHMAN: Hello, this is Mythman.
JUMPER: and this is Jumper...
BOTH: and you are listening to DipsterTalk(tm), the radio show for the New Investor.
MYTHMAN: Today we have an exciting show<g>, with a special appearance by Internet celebrity and market guru, Bill Fleckenstein.
JUMPER: But first, let's take a few calls... Jane from DesMoines, you're on the air.
MYTHMAN: Are you a Dipster(tm), Jane?
JANE: Of course I am, Mythman. I love your show!
MYTHMAN: Thanks<g>, did you have a question?
JANE: Actually, I just called to complain that you are having that evil, short-mongering, commie-bastard Fleckenstein on the show. I just loaded the boat with AOL calls a couple of days ago, only to find that he spread rumors and lies to drive the market down!
MYTHMAN: I understand, caller.<g> But due to our ratings and budget constaints, it was either Fleckenstein or that Erkel guy from the zany sitcom "Family Matters". I'm afraid that Erkel cancelled at the last minute.<g>
JUMPER: On that note, why don't we welcome our special guest. Bill?
BILL: Hi Jumper, hi Pete.
MYTHMAN: Welcome to the show, Bill. You seem to have generated a bit of hostility, judging from our callers.
BILL: Yes, that caller was pretty mild compared to what I've been getting.
JUMPER: I see that you are wearing a disguise... a baseball hat and dark glasses. Are you hiding from something?
BILL: No one seemed to mind my column, the Market Rap (doubleyew, doubleyew, doubleyew, dot, stocksite, dot, com) while the market was climbing. But now that we see some weakness, I'm the object of hostility for every nut who's lost some money.
MYTHMAN: Enough hostility for a disguise?<g>
BILL: YES! I've gotten death-threats and dead cats in the mail. I even got a polaroid of the Beardstown Ladies burning me in effigy!
JUMPER: What is the most frightening thing that you've received so far?
BILL: Some psycho sent me the entire book series of Wade B. Cook.
MYTHMAN: You are not a Dipster(tm), are you Bill?
BILL: No. In fact, I'm getting out of the business altogether. This is just too stressful.
MYTHMAN: What are you going to do?
BILL: Well, I wanted to appeal to the younger (and less hostile), MTV generation. Something that would take advantage of all the web pages out there already pointing to the Market Rap. What we are planning is an Internet distribution of my new gansta-rap band.
MYTHMAN: You are going to be a rapper?<G>
BILL: Hardcore, brother. When you grow up on the street (Wall or otherwise), you gots to share your vision.
JUMPER: What are you called?
BILL: You can call me (turns baseball hat backwards)... Fleckmaster B.
MYTHMAN: <g>
BILL: I've got my DJ, Max Pain(tm) in the house with the rest of my posse. You want me to bust a rhyme on yall?
MYTHMAN: Why not?
BILL: Straight up, this rap's called "I Made Abbey Cohen Ma Bitch". Hit it, Max...
Song snipped for sanity... to be continued...
Part 11 in a series:
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