LE CONTEST: 99 BUICK ELECTRA - DELIVERY ARRANGEMENTS
Armin: CONGRATS. To take delivery of your contest prize ........
As in most contests, you will be reponsible for claiming your 99 BUICK ELECTRA
and transporting it to your own abode. Of course, you would be expected to cover the
incidental costs of transportation such as gasoline,insurance,weapons and survival gear.
So without further ado lets get on with the arrangements.
Located alongside a dirt runway in the tropical forests of Columbia about 12 miles
south of the quaint little tourist town of Medellin, I am pleased to inform you that you will find your 99 BUICK ELECTRA. You will identify it by the color ( specifically Burnt
Umber "folk art" part # 3287469 ). Apparently the color is the result of a minor "flame
thrower" incident that is hardly worth mentioning. When you arrive and pick up the car,
should anyone interfere, just mention the name Condor and you should have no
problems. However, if necessary use the name Pablo and guaranteed you're on your
way. Anyhow, work your way north on the Pan Am highway. By the way, you will
notice a large RED button on the dash, don't push it. As you enter El Salvador, should
you happen to come across a a spirited little woman called Carmalita ( she may
recognize the car )with many little children trailing her, please say nothing, particularily
don't mention the word "Condor" and zip along north. As you arrive at US Customs
leaving Mexico greet the officers pleasantly and DO NOT refer to the name Condor or
Pablo. Here you should just use your own name. While border crossing should be a
quick affair, I might suggest that if you see sniffer dogs approaching your vehicle, you
might want to ease away from the car a bit ( say 1800 miles or so ). Assuming
everything goes well as I'm sure it will then you just paddle on home in your 99
BUICK ELECTRA. On this final leg to your home, should you be approached by
more than one police car with lights flashing, you may now push the RED button on the
dash. I assure you the police problem will then be over and indeed you will never have
a problem ever again. Once at your home, it would be thoughtful of you to place a call
to Chicago (705 627 3386) to thank a Mr. Guido for his generous donation of the car
and I'm sure he'll be interested in you personally, such as, where exactly you live and
where might the car be parked and such. He's a mighty nice guy. Well, I guess thats
about all. So heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS again. Please think of me everytime
you load your surviving family members in the car and ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY.
Your amigo .....CONDOR. |
