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Pastimes : May Day, also known as Beltane
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To: Druss who wrote (655)4/28/1999 6:20:00 PM
From: Dayuhan  Read Replies (2) of 2063
 
At this time I understand the combats will be held at 100 paces with insults the chosen weapons.

Suits me admirably, but poor Christopher will be shattered. He was so looking forward to trotting out that claymore.

For the curious, Christopher's preferred weapon is not the mine of recent vintage (though I briefly considered showing up with one of those) but the Scottish Chthllaouighmuieouyrrghgh, a large two-handed broadsword much esteemed by members of the soldiery who lacked the wit or skill to wield anything more sophisticated. This weapon, together with the Scots habit of imbibing excessive quantities of distilled beverages before combat, historians hold chiefly responsible for the extended British domination of Scotland.

If you mention this device in Christopher's presence, please take care to use the authentic pronunciation; he is sensitive on this matter and it is only polite to indulge him. Authentic pronunciation may be effectively rendered by inhaling a large flying insect and attempting to dislodge it. Presence of a Heimlich-certified rescue worker is recommended.

It might be better not to mention it. You might, though, wish to direct critical remarks at the cut of his mail-coat, which is hopelessly out of date and needs much attention from the local ironmonger before it could even hope to be passed off as au courant.
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