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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions
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To: FREAKAZOID who wrote (553)4/28/1999 9:11:00 PM
From: Susie924  Read Replies (1) of 2380
 
Hey Freak!
I got this joke today from a guy I know!

> How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world
> > does it take to do the dishes?
> >
> > Both of them.
> >
> > ********************
> >
> > How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
> >
> > He buys two cases of beer.
> >
> > *********************
> >
> > Why are blonde jokes so short?
> >
> > So men can remember them.
> >
> > ***********************
> >
> > How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet
> > paper?
> >
> > We don't know; it has never happened.
> >
> > ************************
> >
> > Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,
> > caring and good looking?
> >
> > They all already have boyfriends.
> >
> > ***************************
> >
> > What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is
> > every night?
> >
> > A widow.
> >
> > ****************************
> >
> > Why are married women heavier than single women?
> >
> > Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator
> > and go to bed.
> >
> > Married women come home, see what's in their bed and go to
> > the refrigerator.
> >
> > *****************************
> >
> > How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
> >
> > Put the remote control between his toes.
> >
> > ******************************
> >
> > How are men and parking spots a like?
> >
> > Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly
> > handicapped or extremely small.
> >
> > *******************************
> >
> > How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
> >
> > In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
> >
> > ********************************
> >
> > Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
> >
> > To stop the snoring before it starts.
> >
> > ******************************
> >
> > Why don't men have mid-life crisis?
> >
> > They're stuck in adolescence.
> >
> > ************************************
> >
> > How is being in a singles bar different from going to the
> > circus?
> >
> > At the circus the clowns don't talk.
> >
> > ************************************
> >
> > What makes men chase women they have no intention of
> > marrying?
> >
> > The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
> > intention of driving.
> >
> > *************************************
> >
> > What do you do with a bachelor that thinks he's God's gift?
> >
> > Exchange him.
> >
> > **************************************
> >
> > Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
> >
> > They are hard to get started, emit foul odors and
> > don't work half the time.
> >
> > ****************************
> >
> > What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
> >
> > After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
> >
> > ********************************
> >
> > Diamonds are a girl's best friends.
> >
> > Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
> >
> > *****************************
> >
> > Single women complain that all good men are married, while
> > all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This
> > confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
> >
> > *****************************
> >
> > What's the difference between government bonds and men?
> >
> > Bonds mature.
> >
> > *************************
> >
> > What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
> >
> > E.T. phoned home.
> >
> > ***********************
> >
> > Why do men like BMWs?
> >
> > They can spell it.
> >
> > *************************
> >
> > What do an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
> >
> > Men always miss them.
> >
>
>
Susie aka Jenny

PS Good Luck tomorrow!
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