Re: I found a news wire lawsuit!
This happened in 1989 and I'm not sure it applies in this case, but you never know. I've deleted the news wire's name just so I don't get sued twice. (g)
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[Reference Deleted] Sues KidWhiz Enterprises over Fraud and Trademark Violations
Business Editors
Metropolis -- (Reference Deleted) -- May 3,1989. -- (Reference Deleted), the humongous mega-conglomerate with offices in every country on earth, today filed a lawsuit in federal court against three defendants who used (reference deleted) to distribute information about a phony investment opportunity.
The defendants, Rollo the Clown, Snoogles the Bunny, and Tina Tinkles, submitted a press release to (reference deleted) on behalf of a company called "KidWhiz Enterprises" which (reference deleted) alleges was nothing more than a sham.
The bogus press release claimed Mr. Clown could "magically make quarters appear from behind your child's ear", which (reference deleted) alleges is a false and misleading statement. (Reference deleted) alleges respondents fully believed this was a true and sincere investment opportunity.
Additionally, the press release claimed Mr/Ms Bunny could "rip up a twenty dollar bill and restore it simply by saying the magic word". (Reference deleted) alleges the defendants intended to use this scheme to launder drug money by replacing one bill with another.
When (reference deleted) learned of this escapade, (reference deleted) immediately pulled the KidWhiz announcement from its news wire, notified all its subscribers, their families and relatives, that (reference deleted) would in no way tolerate or condone such activity. (Reference deleted) then issued a press release to this effect and mailed, e-mailed, faxed, and, in some cases, tossed out of helicopters, copies of it to all two hundred thousand news outlets (reference deleted) serves.
Subsequent to that, (reference deleted) posed as loving and concerned parents and were able to secretly videotape the defendants in action. At one point Ms. Tinkles can be observed trying to balance on something she calls the "Tinkly Wire", flailing her arms, falling off, and ending up prone on the ground. (Reference deleted) alleges this is a deliberate attempt to defame and ridicule (reference deleted)'s trademark.
(Reference deleted)'s lawsuit alleges violations of international, federal, state, municipal, neighborhood, and household trademark laws, fraud, breach of contract, defamation, littering, and besmirchment of the Taft-Hartley Act, RICO statutes, and the Geneva Convention. (Reference deleted) seeks unspeakable damages, mulct, amercement, sconce, and conjunctiva relief.
- Jeff
Note: This was a J-O-K-E. That spells joke, as in "supposed to be funny as opposed to serious". If you didn't find it funny, please don't sue me, sue Bill Gates because he inspired me and he has lots of money.
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