You're shameless, Richard! LOL!
And now for something completely different...
This guy is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years.
One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself,
"It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks,
"It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks,
"It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous
blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to
the guy and she says, "How long has it been since you've had a
cigarette?" "Ten years!" he says.
She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left
sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one,
lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man , oh man! Is that
good!"
Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of
whiskey?
"He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof
pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He
takes a long swig and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"
Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the
front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it
been since you've had some REAL fun?"
And the mans replies, "My God! Don't tell me that you've got golf
clubs in there!"
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