[I must hurry to complete my errands, in particular the trip to the Disguise Store, where my new Bernie Wig and Moustache are waiting, the old set having become rather worn, as a result of the great number of meetings with that dear pawn of mine, and lawyer of my Bernie persona, Christopher Hodgkin, I have had to attend in my Bernie guise. Ah, me, I become fatigued on occasion, so complex are the deceptions I must weave to maintain the fiction, with Christopher, that Bernie and Lady E are two discrete personalities! And the time it takes for me to prepare and give my lectures on Home Security and Alarm Systems at Harvard Law and the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, oh, la! But it is all worth the great investment of my valuable self, so in demand for attendance at various sybaritic festivals, house cleaning, and lectures on Alarm Systems, simply to make the sweet, naive Christopher feel needed-- and how well I have succeeded in this altruistic endeavor with my feigned 'legal problems,' -- But wait! Is 'altruistic' the correct word to use? In truth, it is not, for I find myself so richly rewarded by the sight of his beaming, not to mention handsome, face, as he shuffles through the forged paperwork 'documenting' my 'case,' imagining that he is in possession of actual 'facts' regarding 'Bernie's' (ha ha!) so called 'problems' with the law.
I especially smile to myself at how easily he fell for the old bury-a-couple-of-statues-from-the-sculpture-garden-of-my-sumptuous-estate ploy, actually believing them to be dead bodies! Ho ho, I say!
How fortunate that my contacts at Harvard and John Jay College of Criminal Justice are so willing, for so little reward, (and reward of a nature it is such a pleasure for me to give!) to cooperate in my complex legal deception of the dear, naive Christopher, all done simply because... I care.] |
