Totally off topic, but pretty funny...
Saw this 'survey form' on the Burke thread... By the way DRRISK, Jerome York surfaced in today's WSJ. He sits on the board of Waste Management and had some rather strong words for it's former CEO. Check the article out, I can post it if you want..
John
To: tippet (59460 )
From: Khalil Ayoub
Wednesday, May 19 1999 11:25AM ET
Reply # of 59716
Tip & all:
This has been making the rounds:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an
employee who obviously has a sense of humor. The company made the web
department take it down immediately.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below.
Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help
us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt.
[_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
Name: ...................................................
Password: .............................. (max 8 char)
Code Name: ......................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat [_] F-15 Eagle [_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth [_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... / ....... / ......
4. Serial Number: .................................................
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package [_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker [_] Mail order
[_] Discount store [_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product
you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] Store display
[_] Espionage [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer [_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to
purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance [_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value [_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe [_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
[_] Backroom politics
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] North America [_] Central / South America
[_] Aircraft carrier [_] Europe
[_] Middle East [_] Africa
[_] Asia / Far East [_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in
the near future:
[_] Color TV [_] VCR
[_] ICBM [_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle [_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Check all that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist [_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed [_] Neutral
[_] Democratic [_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt [_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending [_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine [_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check [_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money [_] Traveler's check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker [_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary [_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary [_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management [_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General [_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a
regular basis:
[_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage [_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / disinformation[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans [_] Gardening
[_] Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections [_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines [_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets [_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance [_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will
be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better
in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers
from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious
consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division, P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO
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