I wonder when we can look forward to this stuff reaching "a pub near you".
TOKYO (AP) The recent craze for hydrogen beer is at the heart of a
three way lawsuit
between unemployed stockbroker Toshira Otoma, the Tike-Take karaoke
bar and the
Asaka Beer Corporation. Mr Otoma is suing the bar and the brewery
for selling toxic
substances and is claiming damages for grievous bodily harm leading
to the loss of his
job. The bar is countersuing for defamation and loss of customers.
The Asaka Beer corporation brews "Suiso" brand beer, where the
carbon dioxide
normally used to add fizz has been replaced by the more
environmentally friendly hydrogen gas. A side effect of this has
made the beer extremely
popular at karaoke sing-along bars and discotheques.
Hydrogen, like helium, is a gas lighter than air. Because hydrogen
molecules are lighter
than air, sound waves are transmitted more rapidly; individuals
whose lungs are filled
with the nontoxic gas can speak with an uncharacteristically high
voice. Exploiting this
quirk of physics, chic urbanites can now sing soprano parts on
karaoke sing-along
machines after consuming a big gulp of Suiso beer.
The flammable nature of hydrogen has also become another selling
point, even though
Asaka has not acknowledged that this was a deliberate marketing
ploy.
It has inspired a new fashion of blowing flames from one's mouth
using a cigarette as an
ignition source. Many new karaoke videos feature singers shooting
blue flames in slow
motion, while flame contests take place in pubs everywhere. "Mr
Otoma has no-one to
blame but himself. If he had not become drunk and disorderly, none
of this would have
happened. Our security guards undergo the most careful screening
and training before
they are allowed to deal with customers" said Mr Takashi Nomura,
Manager of the
Tike-Take bar.
"Mr Otoma drank fifteen bottles of hydrogen beer in order to
maximize the size of the
flames he could belch during the contest. He catapulted balls of
fire across the room that
Gojira would be proud of, but this was not enough to win him first
prize since the
judgement is made on the quality of the flames and that of the
singing, and after fifteen
bottles of lager he was badly out of tune."
"He took exception to the result and hurled blue fireballs at the
judge, singeing the front
of Mrs. Mifune's hair, entirely removing her eyebrows and lashes,
and ruining the clothes
of two nearby customers. None of these people have returned to my
bar. When our
security staff approached he turned his attentions to them, making
it almost impossible to
approach him. Our head bouncer had no choice but to hurl himself at
Mr Otoma's
knees, knocking his legs from under him."
"The laws of physics are not to be disobeyed, and the force that
propelled Mr Otoma's
legs backwards also pivoted around his center of gravity and moved
his upper body
forward with equal velocity. It was his own fault he had his mouth
open for the next
belch, his own fault he held a lighted cigarette in front of it and
it is own fault he
swallowed that cigarette."
"The Tike-Take bar takes no responsibility for the subsequent
internal combustion,
rupture of his stomach lining, nor the third degree burns to his
esophagus, larynx and
sinuses as the exploding gases forced their way out of his body.
His consequential
muteness and loss of employment are his own fault."
Mr Otoma was unavailable for comment.
|
