Ask Dr. SOROS -Psychoanalyst/psychic/psychobabblyst/psycho Message Board

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Pastimes : Ask Dr. SOROS -Psychoanalyst/psychic/psychobabblyst/psycho

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To: IRVINESULLY who wrote (23)	5/31/1999 12:18:00 AM
From: SOROS	Read Replies (1) of 25

Dear Single Sock Person, There are many theories on what happens to missing socks. I personally believe that it has something to do with Bill Gates and Winsock or Bill Clinton and Sockgate. These two men have sock agents all around the world stealing socks for their own evil purposes. Of course, it could just be that many of them run away after having been placed on a smelly foot -- wouldn't you? Whatever the cause, my job is to help you deal with your perceived oedipal complex as a result of having this inner conflict imposed upon you by your unnatural longing to incorporate your deepest desires within a framework of psychological meanderings brought on by your mother's inadequate fulfillment of her childhood paranoid delusions. You must draw a picture of your father with a sock on his head. Write a letter to him explaining why this makes you so uncomfortable, and mail it to a made-up address in some foreign country. This will reverse the terrible conflict within your ID and allow you to live your life without even wondering where socks disappear to, which will make your life so much happier and fulfilling. I remain, Dr. SOROS

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